A Song for the Soul

I must have really, really needed encouragement.  I really, really did need encouragment.  This journey is a hard one because I only share the depths of what I go through with my husband and no one else.  My outlet is this journal.  Having Lyme Disease is a heavy burden and I am not one to pour out my burdens on others when they really don't have the capacity of understanding or caring because they have never been through something like what I have gone through.  Also, I have only lived here for 6 months, so I just don't have the depth of friendship with people here where I can share and I really don't want to weird people out.  Before I had Lyme, I had pre-conceived ideas about people with problems like I now find myself with and I just don't want to have to deal with the stress of others judgements of me on top of the stress of living with Lyme.  So yes, I am alone and I feel alone and so for me - when God reaches out to me - it is like a friend who reaches out to you and understands you and gets you and is pulling you through the darkness when you can't see the light.  All that to say is that in the midst of the depression and hopelessness I found myself in when I restarted the herbs - A song popped into my head.  It was The River by Garth Brooks and here are the Lyrics.

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
It has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance that tide And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll tke some falls
With the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Lord, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

I put the phrases in BOLD that spoke to my heart.  A tune will just come to my heart that I haven't heard in years, and I will hum it but I don't know the words to the song.  So I went to the internet and typed in "You know a dream is like a river" by Garth Brooks because I knew it was by him and I read the lyrics.  I just felt like God was speaking to my heart - saying it is going to be hard, but you have to go through it - you have to try - because if you never try to beat the Lyme Disease - then you will never reach the destination of being healed.  So keep trying, go through the hard times, because I am your Captain, and I am leading you in the right direction, even though everything feels worse.  Trust in ME!!!

This was powerful becaues this came to me in the midst of the depression.  God has spoken one other song to me - 5 years ago - when I would close my eyes and couldn't put the thoughts together in my head, when everything was going wrong in my body and I didn't know what was going on - It was "Got my mind set on you" by George Harrison.  In that song - the lyrics says that it is going to take patience, time and money to do it right and that if I set my mind, that I can do it.  Well little did I know how TRUE that has been and continues to be!!!