Rambling....

My feet are sore from trick-or-treating last night with the kids.  I soaked them in hot water when I got home and after I put the kids to bed I massaged them with peppermint lotion.  I took ibuprofen too.  I probably was on my feet just an hour.  Maybe an hour and 20 minutes.  That is all.  It is an annoying symptom because I just want to be on my feet without them being in pain.  I don't have any of the anxiety symptoms of Bartonella anymore and they have been gone for about a year or so, so I think this maybe it's Lyme or Babesia Duncani or just the fact that I weigh so darn much.  Today, I am trying again to eat healthy and make a habit of it.  It is so darn tempting because I have four kids and quick kid food doesn't tend to be healthy and that is just about all I cook these days.  We have pizza about twice a week.  I do make them healthy snacks (buy a veggie tray, fruit tray, carrot sticks) but I don't have much motivation to cook.  Maybe if I was skinnier I would because then I wouldn't be afraid to eat the food I cook and gain weight from it!  Anyways - I make quick foods because they are easier when you just don't have energy or motivation.  But the quick foods I make - I try to make them as healthy as possible.  Lean chicken breast, brown rice pasta, salad, taco's with ground turkey instead of beef.  But pizza seems to sneak in there.  Especially if we are in a rush - or going to someone's house.

Moving on. So the symptoms that are annoying me the most right now are - lack of motivation, foot pain and fatigue.  I know I felt like it would be a miracle to have anxiety not part of my life and here I am living it.  It was really hard to kill it and took a long time but today I don't have that symptom.  But still, right now I wonder, will I ever get better?  Will I feel motivated again?  Will the foot pain go away?  Will the fatigue that comes with the Tinidazole pulse (2 weeks on, 2 weeks off) go away at some point?  I often forget about the 'little stuff' like pain in the right side of my chest last night I had as I was going to sleep.  Or just a hint of it happening right now in the same spot.  On Tinidazole, I had a ton of stabbing pain towards the end of my pulse and I wonder - is the stabbing pain from the Lyme or the Babesia Duncani?  I haven't had any formal treatment for Babesia Duncani and I would really like to start it except for my doctor is on maternity leave right now so I have to wait until January to get a medication switch.  I guess I could go to another doctor to start the Babesia Treatment but that just feels like a hassle.  It is only a couple months and I am plugging away at the medications she had me on so it will all be fine in the end.  I think I am going to add in Artemesinin on my own though because from what I have gathered from the lyme forums on the internet, high dose artemesinin for 3 days ever 2 weeks seems to be more effective for treating Duncani than medications that tend to be more effective for Microti.  However, there is a story in the forums of one guy who had remission from one course of Babesia meds for his Babesia Duncani.  I have tried Artemesinin before and at a low daily dose (that my doctor had me on) I didn't feel anything herx-wise from it.  When I took it at the high dose, I felt extremely fatigued in my muscles.  Like I had just ran a half-marathon. The word is that Babesia Microti is much easier to treat than Duncani.  Great. 

Anyways.  I also wanted to say that I wish I didn't have to pulse Tinidazole, I just want to keep taking it straight through. It seemed to be helpful to my digestion and because of the fatigue I had while I am on it, it is killing something off (Lyme cysts and maybe Babesia Duncani???) and I just want to grit my teeth and get through it and see if the fatigue goes away. I don't want to have to wait 2 week to restart but I am.

That's it for now, but as I sign off, it is with a small stabbing pain on the top of my head.  When I first started the medications I am now on for the Lyme, I had a ton of random vibrations come and go at different places in my body.  Those have gone now.  Replaced with these random stabbing pains.  Wish more people who have gotten better from Babesia Duncani would post their stories on the internet.  Success Stories are like liquid hope for me to press through the discomfort of symptoms.  That is why I post any success I have had here on my blog.  It encourages me to keep hitting it hard and overcome it.