Last night I had a fever. I haven't had a fever in as long as I can remember. It may not have been actually that high but it felt warm and it actually felt comforting. With Bartonella, you don't get fevers I read which makes sense because when I used to get sick (before Lyme Disease) I actually got fevers but ever since Lyme, my body temp has always been lower than normal and when I am sick my temp only goes up to 98.6.
Anyways, I had chills, body aches and anxiety in the evening last night. After taking the Ashwaganda and Passionflower to reduce cortisol levels at the beginning of the week, the anxiety was mostly in the morning. So yesterday I felt worried because it increased in the evening. Then I started throwing up. Then come my kids bedtime, I had chills, weakness and body aches. Then at 10pm when my husband got home from work it was a fever. With body aches.
Now, I am just weak. This morning my voice could only be a whisper. I am sitting on the couch and feel my bones aching.
I can't wait until I don't have Lyme anymore. Right now I feel afraid, afraid that since I kept my kids home from school (one of them was still not feeling well and I was feeling too weak to get all 3 of them ready and my husband left for work and told me to all stay home). Scared that I am going to get in trouble. But I think the fear is whatever is going on in my body and not really reality. I really have false emotions and false feelings that come from this disease.
My husband really wants me to start up with my Lyme treatment again. I do too. In fact I was planning on starting it all next week because my kids will be home from school for 2 and a half weeks and I thought it would be a good time to start. But now with how I am feeling I am not so sure :-(.
I called my doctor in Texas about overnighting me a NeuroScience neurotransmitter test because I am all out. It would be really good to know what my neurotransmitters are when I am feeling the fear and anxiety. He may be able to help me get them to a place where I don't feel it as much by balancing them out. I wish I had a kit here so I could have taken the test (just urine) and mailed it off but oh well. I called NeuroScience to see if they had a provider here in Western Australia but no one in Australia orders their tests! So I left a message on my doctors office phone last night saying I am really stressed (didn't want to go into detail) and want a test kit so I can figure out where my neurotransmitters are.
So that is the current scoop. I wish - I wish that I didn't feel these intense waves of fear and panic. They are SOOOO scary. I literally was thinking I was going to die because my blood pressure was going up. It is still a little high. I need to get a different blood pressure machine because the one I bought is too slow and too tight (ugh!). I broke blood under the skin on one arm because sometimes it messes up and goes too tight. Right now, I just want to go back to Texas. I do. This has been really, really stressful. Its not that I love Texas but I feel safe there - my kids liked school (although I didn't care for the Kindergarten there - too strict and not enough play) and I was close to my doctor. Close to help if I needed it. Here, no one knows about Lyme. I will be traveling up North to see a doctor tomorrow (If I am feeling okay) to tell here about Lyme as she was recommended to me by the one doctor in NSW that treats Lyme - He is over by Sydney I think so that wouldn't work. Anyways. God help me.
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