Well, we have had a lot of transition. Moving back to the States. Settling into life here has taken some time, not without family and school drama. I didn't take herbs or vitamins or medicine for the first 7 months of this year. Terrible I know. I can't even begin to communicate all the stress that was going on those 7 months. It was hard. So it is summer, and I have just begun my treatment....again. I felt so discouraged all this year (and last) for that matter, that I couldn' move on with the medication. I was just so scared to add it in to the already stressful life I was leading. Why was I scared? Because I have had so many weird, random and hard reactions to things since obtaining Lyme Disease but of all the worst things is the psychological side effects of the disease....crippling nervousness, anxiety, fear and depression. Unreal, really. The past 6 months I haven't really had any of that. In fact, the only 'anxiety' I have had is real anxiety. Like when something happens and it really does bother you. That kind. Fortunately I have not had the anxiety that I had been having when everything is great and your stomach is twisted in knots for no reason at all. It has felt nice to react to life like a 'normal person'. So when I restarted the medications last week, I was so nervous to have that unreal anxiety start again. And the good news? So far. Nothing. No anxiety at all!!!
So why no anxiety? Well, I can think of two things. One - I did the Buhner Herbs (Andrographis, Cat's Claw and Japanese Knotweed and Smilax) for 6 months and then I dropped off as I had to quarterback an international move with my four kids and massively busy husband. Anyways. So that would be one reason why I may not have the anxiety anymore. Two - I just started taking Zeolite about a month ago. I have been really unsure about adding in this supplement to my repertoire of lyme supplements because in it's substrates it actually has aluminum. Because I am not a science person, I guess that scared me. A talk with my mom was reassuring though, as she explained that Salt (Na+Cl) is safe when combined (and we eat it all the time) but is not when it isn't combined. So Zeolite is fine in the tightly bound chemical structure it is in. The reason I started taking it was that I kept reading about how ammonia is a huge 'neurotoxin' in lyme. In fact, Jernigan believes it is the primary toxin that Lyme gives off in the body. Zeolite is used in fish tanks to bind with ammonia and clean the water. It also binds with heavy metals. It has an extremely negative charge to it and a body with alot of inflammation has a strong positive charge so apparently the Zeolite helps reduce that positive charge and neutralize it. Cowden offers Zeolite in his protocol. In reading some Lyme books, some practitioners make mention of it but to be honest I just wasn't so sure myself. I took it about a month ago, and felt a strong Zen like feeling from it. Just peace and joy. I also felt quite tired and I had a headache the first couple of days. Detox most likely. I guess I was taking it a few times a day then. Right now I am squeezing a half lemon and then mixing a half teaspoon of Zeolite Pure in it and it is actually quite nice and I drink this once a day. The Zeolite is without taste but adds a little bit of creaminess to the drink. Just thickens it a tad. So I think that is really helping my detox as my body is not as overwhelmed with toxins as the Zeolite is binding them.
I just added in Tinidazole today and the last time I took that it made me anxious. I was nervous to add it in but so far so good. I'll see in a few days if I get that reaction. If I don't. I will be so happy.
Lastly, when my doctor first started me on Lyme treatment in 2011, she put nystatin on my protocol. I gladly took it as yeast became a problem for me at the get-go with the antibiotic treatment. I took it and had intense, INTENSE, bladder pain that day. Searing to be exact. I took it again the next day and same thing. I didn't take it the next day and I was fine. Took it again and the pain came again.
Fast forward to this month, August 2013. I had taken the doxycycline and was doing pretty good. No major out of body experiences like the last time I took it (where I felt like I was a floating balloon (weird, I know!), was floored with nausea, headache, etc). I had vibrations, stabbing pains, ear hearing going in and out this time and other symptoms as well, but everything I can handle. So I added in the Rifampin, same stuff - more vibrations - especially in my feet but no major anxiety or surreal symptoms. So I thought, wow, I am doing WAY better than ever before. So I took the nystatin because I was having yeast issues again and the result? No bladder pain!!!! So something has changed. I suspect, some bacteria that was in my bladder has been eradicated by the Buhner herbs that I took for 6 months.
Which leads me to feel? ENCOURAGED! I felt like I was losing so much ground just treating with herbs while I was out of the United States. I was feeling embarrassed to get back on this blog once I started up on my medications again and say that last year was a failure and that unfortunately I had stopped my treatment again. We had some intense transitions this year and it was critical for me to be there 100% for my kids as my husband had to travel with work. It was absolutely the worst timing. I was so discouraged. Feeling like I was making no progress. And yet, it seems that I have. I don't want to say everything is going to be smooth sailing forward but I am interested to see how this goes.
I still have alot to work on. To recover from. Losing 100 pounds is a start. Yes, I weigh double what I did 12 years ago when I said "1 do" and it was gained in the past 4 years. There is alot of shame for me in that even though the disease was the impetus for my current state. I have muscle pain and have had some really intense reactions when I tried to start an exericse routine (tremors, complete loss of strength going out of my body, etc). I started malic acid not that long ago and couldn't believe that I could walk up the stairs more than 2 times a day without being exhausted.. Now I walk up way more. I never realized how very tired my muscles are until I felt how it should feel. I should add, I walk around alot downstairs...but going up the stairs had been tough. I really noticed how good I felt when I was on a walk with my kids to the park and when I was walking back up the little hill to our house, I felt no pain in my legs. I am used to laboring up the hills and pushing each step.
There is so much to write. But I will say this one thing. My husband and I have made a pact that no matter where we move I WILL NOT STOP my medications, herbs, no matter what. We now know that the stress of moving is a deal breaker for me and so no matter what, I will not stop treatment whatever that means. I know that me being in treatment is so much better for the kids in the long run, but in the short run, it is hard on them. It was critical for me to 'be there' for them integrating into a new school half way through the school year in a new coungry. Anyways. I know I kind of rambled out my thoughts.
So right now. I am feeling pretty grateful. Grateful that I DID MAKE PROGRESS and amazed at the power of those herbs that seemed to really help me deal with this disease. That's all for now.
PS - Can I just say, I am going through editing this and I am noticing a million errors - I think I fix them all and then I find another! So sorry if I am confusing to read!
