Treatment Break

Well, I haven't been doing any of my lyme treatments for the past two weeks since being in Hawaii and having my mother-in-law here on vacation. I am on Doxycycline (until two weeks ago) and so I can not be out in the sun. I wanted to be able to participate in their outdoor activities and so I have been off of the medications. I actually needed to participate because we have four kids under the age of 10 so I actually needed to be an active part of the daily schedules here. Now that she is gone, I am ready to start up again. I took the herbs for two days in the middle of our time here and I was conked out with fatigue big time. So I will be starting those up but I may have to wait a bit. Christmas is in a couple of days and we have a flight from Kona to Oahu and then to Perth, Australia on Christmas Day. That will be an 14 or more hour flight so I think I am going to have to start back up after we land on the 27th. I may be able to do just the herbs now and then add in the Doxycycline and the Rifampin when I arrive. So that is my update. I know I haven't been posting much as of late, but I have been really busy having fun!

I'm Still Here

We have been in the process of moving and after much blood, sweat and tears as well as dropping my Lyme protocol for 2 weeks we are in Hawaii for a couple weeks before we head to Australia where we will live for a year. Life still went on and Murphy's Law is still in effect as so many things happened that never happen right up until yesterday when we arrived here in Hawaii. My car broke down the day before we were to sell it so we had to get it fixed. We sold 4 hours before we got on the plane. I know this has nothing to do with Lyme. I have a piece of glass in my foot that I need to go to Urgent Care to get out (it is a tiny, tiny piece) but I am way too tired to do anything but sit around and be lazy. Did I mention we have four kids under ten years old? Yeah, that makes everything a ton more challenging. How about 12 50lb suit cases plus 6 carry on bags and 6 personal items. Did I mention I went to the Texas DMV office 6 times before I got a new license and on the day that I was driving to get a new license (my old one had expired during when I was passed out sick for two weeks) that I got a ticket for an expired license and for crossing double white lines? What the heck? So I got my new license after taking a written test and taking the driving test which I barely past. The day before we left for Hawaii with all our stuff I went to court to pay the ticet $384. Nice. At least they didn't suspend my license because it was expired. Oh the joys of having Lyme Disease. So, we are here. Surrounded by the ocean. Literally. We are in a condo in Kona right on the ocean and went to bed (mind you at 5am my time...hello!) to the sound of the crashing waves. The kids stayed up late looking out the windows at the waves crashing over the black rocks. Needless to say. I am wiped. Yeah - did I mention that I cleaned our apartment for 12 hours straight and we arrived to our hotel at 2am in the morning with kids in tow the night before we were to fly out. It has all been crazy. And when we got to the airport my husband realized he had left all our passports in a file cabinet in our storage unit. He called a friend who is going to go dig through our unit (the cabinet is four feet back) and mail us the passports because it would be $1000 to replace them all in the next two weeks. Okay. I did say I was wiped. My feet especially are sore. I wish their was a word that could express perfectly just how sore and in pain they are. I just wish they would feel better. My right hand, with which I scrubbed the oven, the bathtubs, the floors, all the cabinets, inside and out, the refrigerator, the freezer...and...oh, I don't know...the hand is really sore! Like arthritic. My whole body on the flight felt like I had rigor mortis and like it was all seizing up. Never has a flight been such torture. I just wanted to move and stretch out because I was cramping up all over. My husband had a back injury a few weeks back when he was moving our stuff into the storage unit and had some muscle relaxers so I took 1 last night and then 2 melatonin and I feel like a bit of a zombie today. It is a combination of everything. I will resume my lyme protocol soon, but I just need to get my sleep first before I go into killing the Lyme. We are here on vacation and once I start taking the stuff, I assume I will get some herxeimers again that won't be fun. Good thing their is cable here because I will be on the couch getting my fill once I start feeling nautious. Okay if you have kept up with this post and read all the way through my ramblings then I will fill you in on a little something unless for failure of memory, I already have and have forgotten about it. And it is...I don't have any yeast issues anymore! No, not just because I haven't been consistant with my antibiotics but long before that I added in the Soloray Kidney Blend because I was getting alot of bladder pain with the yeast (especially when I took Nystatin). Well after being on that (2 capsules per night before bed) I haven't had any yeast issues. What a blessing. I am too tired to spell check and correct grammer right now but maybe I will later :-) Aloha!

So, SO True!!!

I was just reading the notes from a talk Dr. Burrascano gave in March of this year. Here is the link to the site where the I read the notes from:

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/2734248/putting-lyme-behind-you-santarosa-3-2011-doc-april-8-2011-9-44-pm-69k

Here an excerpt taken from the notes which is so, SO True!!!!!!

•NT-Factor, antioxidants, high-absorption minerals, and Co Q-10 together can make a huge difference in energy and stamina (per Drs Nicolson and Burrascano)

Speaking from my own experience these supplements take away fatigue. I tried Co-Q10 by itself with not much improvement 3 years ago but about a year and a half ago I added in ACES+Zinc by Carlson labs and NuMedica's Mineralplex and that very month I no longer got tired in the afternoon. Seriously, try this if you are tired all the time. I am pretty sure it will work for you. I had to hire a part-time nanny to care for my children because I was so exhausted all the time. When she came, I would sleep. I didn't know I had lyme but I knew something was terribly wrong with my body.

Anyway, I felt so excited when I read this from the leading lyme doctor in our country. I am looking forward to his updated Lyme Treatment Protocols as the last one was published in 2008. In it he spoke of NT-Factor for energy but hadn't yet talked about the antioxidants and absorbable minerals. I haven't yet tried NT-Factor although I am quite interested. I am moving to Australia right now so I am not sure about getting that supplement over there. Right now I am doing well with the other supplements but it wouldn't hurt to add in the NT-factor when I can.

I decided to take the ACES+Zinc supplement because my Metemetrix Individual Optamized Nutrition test showed that I had very low vitamin A, carotene and I had high lipid peroxides which indicates that your body has low selenium. ACES+Zinc stands for vitamins (A), (C), and (E);(S)elenium, and Zinc. I also had low minerals across the board in every mineral catagory. So I added both these supplements because of the testing. My testing confirms what Dr. Burrascano has found as well - that Lyme patients are low in both minerals and antioxidants.

A Poem for the Soul

This is a poem I found that encourages my soul. I am still on my journey to complete recovery but I have found treasures of knowledge in eradicating symptoms along the way through my years of suffering. Even though I am still on my journey, this poem reminds me that there are those who are just beginning the suffering and don't know what is going on or what to do. This reminds me to "call back" even when I too am still on the way.

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back -

'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track:

And if perchance, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low.

Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;

Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;

That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill.

He bore you up and held you where the air was still.

Oh, friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your face;

They say it glows with triumph, and you feet bound in the race:

But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim.

And I cannot see the glory, though I long for a word of Him.

But if you'll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,

And if you'll say He saw you through the night's sin-darkened sky -

If you have gone a little way ahead, oh, friend, call back -

'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track

Selected.

Pain in the Neck!

I think that phrase must have come from people who have lyme. Hah! Well, I know that is not true but guess what - today my neck hurts and my feet hurt. So much so that I clean for about 5 minutes and lay down for ten. My kids are having their friends over today after school but because I haven't been feeling so hot I haven't been after then to clean up after themselves nor have I been cleaning up much myself which means I am doing all the cleaning up by myself today. With four kids in a three bedroom townhouse it gets messy really fast - especially when mom doesn't even have the energy to get after them to do so. Anyways - I just took a triple dose of smilax. I felt like before when I took it, it really alleviated my neck pain. We shall see. Right now as I am writing I am resting my neck on a bag of ice while laying back in an armchair. Thats how I take my 10 minute breaks between cleaning. Whine. Whine. Whine. I know. I would like to be totally positive on this blog but right now it's a bit tough. I guess it is better to whine on a blog than whine all day long to all those around you (which unfortunately I did this morning). I am looking forward to seeing what my neurotransmitters in light of all my antibiotics and all the stress from the move. It will be great to see what amino acids I need to take more of in order to keep my mood and body feeling good. Anyways, until next time...

My Back Hurts!!!

So I am not much of a back pain person. Fortunately. I know when people have back pain it can be really torturous. Well my back is really sore today. I had a flat tire on the way to the DMV today and my 4 year old daughter was in the car with me. She was talking and talking and I just wished she would be quiet. She is so lovely but I just needed quietness and peace. I think I may be coming down with something because when I start feeling ill, I often get back pain, sore hips, etc which I have now. I think the Lyme does it as well. Anyways, darn it, I want to feel 100% especially when I am getting ready to move and it frustrates me to not feel so. If you have been reading my blog, and it seems like I am not as great as I proclaimed myself to be from all the vitamins I took, well you are 50% right because I am not...now. I was then! But, after beginning the Lyme treatments I have been struggling a big more although I think anxiety is getting better. It seemed to be getting worse there for a while but maybe I really did have Bartonella and this Rifampin, Doxycyline combination is effective against it. We shall see. I am pretty sure I will get anxiety pretty bad once I start the Tinidazole though. I got it pretty intensely within a few hours of taking it so I am thinking that will happen again. So what I am thinking is I have Bartonella related anxiety and then Lyme related anxiety and they are two separate entities. But at this point, I am not too sure but that is my best guess.

Ha-Ha!

Well, I went into my doctor today after 3 months of being away. You know the one who tests my 5htp levels and tells me how much I need to take all for just $10 a pop rather than the $300 it would normally cost. Well, the last time I went in he didn't want me anymore because I was using herbs to treat lyme. So this time, I prayed he would forget about it and as usual...he did. So we tested today for my neurotransmitter levels and I told him I am taking antibiotics and he agreed that they could change my neurotransmitter levels. Not one word about not treating me because of the herbs. To be true, he didn't say he didn't want to treat me, he just said to not come in as often. Well, I didn't come in and now he wants to see me in 2 weeks. Yay! Sometimes it pays to have a doctor who forgets who you are every time he sees you because he sees a billion patients a day!

Nauseous Again

Don't know what is causing it but I have been nauseous all evening. I really don't have much to say about it other than it begins in the afternoon and goes into the evening and I haven't had it for the past 4 days but now it is back. Don't like it. I know for one thing I haven't been eating as well but I wouldn't think that would cause this. I haven't had my liver herbs up with my bedtime herbs so maybe that is it. I have no idea. But like I said. I don't like it. It makes me feel like laying on the couch, which I am doing.

Symptom Update

Nausea - It is gone. I had it for little over a week and now it is gone so it appears to have been a herxeimer reaction.

Tingling - I still have it. This is a symptom I haven't had in over a year and it is back now that I have been doing Lyme treatment for 2 months.

Anxiety - It comes and goes but seems to be getting better. I will have it occasionally when I wake up in the morning for a few minutes or before I need to got the bathroom as odd as that is.

Skin - The dry skin that I have had on my face for 2 years has softened which is great! Growing up, I had always had soft skin, and after I got Lyme Disease, my skin on my feet began to be really dry and cracked and I started needing pedicures every month where they would peel off loads of dead skin (gross I know). I had never needed them before.

Hair - For about 2 years now, I haven't had to wash my hair everyday because it stopped being oily like it always had been. I know this is painting a gross picture. To be clear, I wasn't walking around with oily hair every day. It would just get a little greasy at night so I would need to wash it daily. Well for the past 2 years, it was totally dry and I wouldn't have to wash my hair for 3 days or so. Since treating the Lyme for the past 2 months it has gone back to being greasy after a night's sleep which I take as a good sign because whatever is going on, it is returning me to the state my hair was in the pre-Lyme days. Now if only it would go back to being straight. So beautifully sraight I wouldn't even have to straighten it. Thick, long, straight beautiful hair. Now I have curly, have to straighten with a straightener to look decent kind-of-hair. That would be a DREAM if it returned to my former state. Keeping my fingers crossed but not counting on it!

Bladder Pain - This came after adding in the Rifampin and going on the Fluconzole with Nystatin. Went off the Nystatin, and felt better but not perfect. Added in a Solaray Kidney Herbal Blend (2 capsules per night) and have been taking that for about 2 weeks. I didn't even notice but I haven't had any bladder pain for about a week now. Must be helping. Hip-hip-hooray!

Weight loss - not so much. I go in and out of being on a good Lyme Diet. I am pretty much off of it as I am packing for Australia and I am a single-focus type of person. Until I feel like I have a handle on the move, it is hard for me to eat super healthy like I was when I wasn't thinking and working on the move.

Feet - Darn things still hurt. Not so much that I can't walk but are just tender. Still wear my Crocs flip-flops everywhere as they are cushiony and comfortable.

Favorite Blogs

Sometimes I forget what it is like to be well. Not really but sort of. I have a few blogs I am fond of reading. They are blogs of women who are devoted to their families and have energy to go and do and make it all happen. These days are not those for me. I am certainly accomplishing much more than when I was in the thick of it all not knowing what had hit me but I am certainly not at the pace I was. I love to see all the decorating, creating, organizing, cooking, family outings that these ladies do. When I read their blog I feel like I live vicariously through them. Of course not really. But the very reason I read their blogs is because they are living a part of me that I cannot live right now to the fullest and so it makes me feel a little more complete just reading about them doing the things that I would be doing if I was 100%. And it also fills me with longing. Longing to just live life with energy filling my body down to my toes. With those creative juices that I knew so well, and felt admired for, running through my fingertips again. For the patience to prepare a meal for hours so that it would ooze deliciousness and be gobbled up in one setting. But for right now I enjoy reading about it. Until the bend in the road and it is my turn again.

Nausea for 6 days

Well, it's not been fun having nausea for the past 6 days. It began with the first day of my monthly cycle and has continued on even though my period has stopped. I did have watery diarrhea the first two days which has stopped but the nausea has continued on although not as bad as it was. It is a bit worrisome to me. I am not sure if this is a herxeimer reaction or if I am getting a c. difficile infection that needs to be ameliorated. The problem is that the medication which I believe treats it (Tinidazole), is the one I am delaying starting until after we move to Australia because the side effects are too strong for me to handle while trying to pack the whole house, take care of all the administrative details, care for 4 children under the age of 9 while being married to a man who is busy with work. Anyways, I put an e-mail into my LLND to schedule an appointment so that I can get some lab work done and check my liver and kidney functions as well as test for c. diff just in case there is something giving me nausea. If I have c. diff I will need to go on that medication sooner than later and I don't know where that leaves me with the house. I may need to fly someone out and have them start packing for me because I am not sure I can do it while I am on that medication. No matter what, we will get through this and we will move. I don't think it is c.diff. It could just be that I haven't been taking my liver herbs (I ran out about 2 weeks ago) and maybe that is what is giving me nausea? I have no idea. I just know it is a new symptom. So that is all for now. I have also been pretty tired too and so it is hard to push through that. I want to work really hard but I have a hard time pushing myself to do so right now.

A Psalm for the Soul

I love the Lord

For he heard my voice

Because he turned his ear to me

I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me

the anguish of the grave came over me

I was overcome by distress and sorrow

Then I called on the name of the Lord

"Lord, save me!"

The LORD is gracious and righteous

our God is full of compassion

The LORD protects the unwary

when I was brought low, he saved me.

Return to your rest, my soul

for the LORD has been good to you.

For you LORD have delivered me from death,

my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

When I was going through it, and I mean THROUGH IT, this was the Psalm that my mom gave me. This was the Psalm that resonated through my soul. The words "Return to your rest, O my soul" seemed an impossibility. I felt like my brain was at the point of no return. I never thought I would get better but I held on to the sinews of hope. Like when your muscles and tendons are being ripped apart while your one had is holding on to the edge of a cliff and you are ready to fall off and you feel your muscles ripping apart. It was hope that kept me holding on. It was that bad. The anxiety, fear and panic had so filled my body and mind that I felt unrecognizable to the person I had been before and had always known. Not just anxiety in worry about the future and worry about life and excessive worry. Anxiety that causes your soul to shudder and shake every moment of the day. Where you can't think straight. I never thought I could get out of that place. I didn't know that a brain suffering so much could ever think straight again. When it says that the cords of death encompassed me, I was there. A dead woman walking. I still have Lyme. I am just beginning to treat it. But I am not there. I have been delivered from that horrible, horrible nightmare of a place and I am so grateful. I know there is so much more for me. But I am so grateful for how far I have come.

I love how it says the LORD protects the unwary. Un-aware. Un-aware that I had Lyme I began all these nutritional treatments that began restoring my body. Proverbs 3 tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge him (pray to him, ask him for direction, and to guide our steps) and he WILL make our paths straight. I feel like my path has been made straight even in the midst of me being unaware and I am so grateful for that. Even though it has taken time, I am on a good path. A few years back I was angry at God, felt abandoned and felt betrayed. I had given my heart to him and this is what I had got in return? I thought this because in the back of my head I believed that if I gave my heart to him I would live a perfect life. The Bible clearly tells us that we will endure hardship and suffering because we live in this fallen world...a world with Lyme Disease and cancer and war and pain. I couldn't see His hand guiding my steps, making them straight. Now I do. We moved to a state where I found a doctor who got me off all anti-anxiety medication and onto 5-htp and tyrosine sprays using scientific testing. He does clinical studies for the lab so I only pay $10 every two weeks for $650 worth of testing that my insurance would never reimburse. My insurance, up until now, has always paid my naturopathic bills even though I just found out that they don't cover naturopaths and so now I will have to pay for my upcoming appointments. Fortunately, my husband just received a substantial raise, so as frustrating as it was to learn the visits were uncovered, we are still provided for. Australia could be good because alot of medicines are subsidized by the government. We shall see. I am just trusting that my steps are being led amidst the mine-field of life and the things that I don't see with my own eyes.

Tinidazole - Not Yet!

Well, I added in Tinidazole yesterday and I definately felt anxious and I think it was from the medicine because I had been feeling great and today I didn't take it and I am feeling great again. I am sure that means it is doing it's job and killing the spirochetes that are wreaking havoc on my system but right now I just can't take the side effects. If I wasn't moving, then I would say, "Bring it on" but because I am moving, the stress of that panic feeling has the effect of totally making me useless and unfocused on all the packing and administrative stuff that I need to take care of because we are moving to Australia on December 8th which is 3 weeks sooner than I was planning. I definitely had a near panic moment (after taking the Tinidazole yesterday I will add) as I stared at my house and couldn't even think of where to begin and what to pack. My mind was swimming in the details of...opening an Australian bank account, securing a car loan in Australia, whether I could bring our dvd's and if they are compatible with Australia's players, getting my driver's license renewed so I can apply for an international license, selling my van, cleaning my van to sell, passing the driver's test because I was sick on my birthday week when I was planning to renew it so now I have to take the driving test all over again but the back light is out on my van, cleaning up all the kids messes that they made while I was packing, selling things on craiglist, figuring out when our visas will arrive, looking for a house in Australia, looking for a place to stay there while we are looking for a house and there is so much more but that is off the top of my head. Today? Today I feel so much better. Packed up our second bathroom (except for the absolute essentials), packed up my daughters bedroom and storage closet and went through my medical records so I can make copies of them to include in my luggage in case I get detained at customs. No Tinidazole for me yet. Will have to pass that along to my LLND that I won't be able to start it for a while. Maybe one or two months. Delays are NO fun but I have to be on my game for this move. I can't manage it all and have anxiety. Bummed because I want to move forward quickly but sometimes slow and steady will win the race. So that leaves me primarily still treating a possible bartonella infection which I will be treating for about 5 months and then I will move onto hitting the babesia and lyme with medication once I am settled in Australia. All is well.

Medications & Australian Customs

Today I am looking into how to get my medications and all my supplements to Australia for the duration of my time there which is 1 year. I don't want to go buy all my supplements only to be told by customs that I can't take them in. That will be a whole lot of money down the drain. So I am spending the morning online researching Australian customs and what things they do and don't allow. I will only be allowed to bring in 3 months of antibiotics so I will need a doctor there to rewrite my doctor's prescriptions from the states. I will also need to bring a letter and put the medication in my carry on baggage. What I am most worried about is my Neuroscience 5htp and Tyrosine sprays because they are liquids are they are really picky about liquids. SO... I am going to bring a 3 month supply of those and then ship the rest at a later date. I will purchase them on Amazon using my prime membership which ships anywhere in the US for free. I will ship them to my mother-in-law and then have her ship them to me in Australia. The total package has to be a value less than $400 US. If it is over that I will have to pay duty and customs charges which I don't want to do.

For my medications it is also required that I have a doctor's written note describing my condition and the medications so after I start the Tinidazole, I will have another doctors appointment where I will ask her to sign a letter that I can bring with me so they won't seize my medications and supplements. I spent time looking at examples of letters this morning and drafting up one with my condition and medications and supplements necessary that she can go ahead and sign and send back unless she wants to draft something different. This should save the time and expense of having her draft one up herself and also making sure she doesn't miss anything on it that I am taking. So that is the scoop for today.

Oh. On the Tinidazole. I am waiting to take that today because my house is an absolute mess from the weekend. My husband and I packed up our library and while we did so the kids ransacked the house, having fun and leaving messes every where they went. I still haven't caught up on the house and I am scared if I take the Tinidazole that it will make me feel so sick that I won't get to the house and then it will be messy all week. So house first, then Tinidazole.

Tingling

I have had tingling the past 3 days. Ok. I have felt in in my head and I am feeling it in my feet right now. I think it is a B-Vitamin issue. B Vitamins reversed tingling for me but it is either the antibiotics or the fluconozole or the yeast issues that is causing it. I tend to think it is the yeast issues that I am having because they prevent the body from creating the B vitamins in the gut. I think. But just wanted to report it. It has been about 2 years since I have had it. Hope it doesn't get worse. I am going to up my B's.

Ilads Conference - Free Streaming Video Tomorrow & Next Day!

Here is the link:

http://www.ilads.org/lyme_programs/lyme_events_video.html?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2011+Live+Streaming+Video+Conference&utm_content=2011+Live+Streaming+Video+Conference+CID_66362afe1b9095a8be1cd56c41b1a7e5&utm_source=Ilads+user+email+marketing+campaign#page=page-1

I am looking forward to it! I will be moving some stuff into a storage unit tomorrow but I am going to try to schedule my move around the conference. Enjoy!

I wish you knew

For those people in my life who can't quite seem to figure out what happened and what went wrong and if I am really sick or not this is for you. The following list, although not exhaustive, is a list of symptoms of Lyme Disease compiled from Lyme Specialists. The ones with the asterisk (*) are the symptoms I have had in the past which for the most part, through specific supplementation I have eliminated. This should help those who don't understand, better understand what I am gone through and the fight for my health that I have been in.

*Persistent swollen glands *Sore throat Fevers *Sore soles or “burning” feet Joint pain or swelling *Back pain *Joint stiffness *Muscle pain or weakness *Muscle twitching *Mental confusion *Difficulty with concentration or memory *Difficulty with speaking or reading *Mood swings *irritability, depression, or panic attacks Tremors or seizures *Headache *Light or sound sensitivity *Blurred vision Ear hum or loss of hearing

Vertigo or poor balance Lightheadedness *Dire need to sit or lie down *Tingling, numbness, or burning *Facial paralysis-Bell's Palsy *Dental pain *Neck pain *Extreme fatigue *Trouble sleeping *Excessive need to sleep *Unexplained change in weight *Bladder dysfunction Stomach problems Heart palpitations *Sore chest wall *Breathlessness Night sweats *Symptom flares every four weeks

Anxiety Flares

So the past few days, at 10 am I would have flares of anxiety and I know this is a little gross, but usually when my body was gearing up for a trip to the bathroom. I hate anxiety so much but as I have been taking the antibiotics, I have had noticeable anxiety every 4th week of treatment which I am taking as a good sign that the Lyme is being killed. However, this week I am not on my 4th week so I was getting a little worried. Not too much though. The past few days I have had a terrible sore throat that has kept me propped up on pillows throughout the night, waking me up with painful coughs and has prevented me from getting good sleep the past three nights. I believe sleep is necessary for your body to replenish it's neurotransmitters so I think I must have been more depleted than normal because 1) I was sick and fighting something off and 2) I wasn't getting sleep. The good news today is that I only felt it for maybe a couple of minutes. But it is so distinct when you feel it. I used to believe that anxiety was a completely emotional state but having been through what I have been through I realize that anxiety can be a completely physiological state. This Lyme Disease has rocked what I have always thought and I hate to learn it this way but I am so glad to know that all the millions of people who suffer from anxiety or depression and the like arn't necessarily emotionally unstable people but their bodies could be suffering from unbalanced bio-chemistries caused by nutritional deficiencies, bugs, heavy metals, allergies, etc. It is so amazing when you are having a great day, all is well and then this random pang of anxiety hits your stomach. It is pretty strange that it often hits me when I have to go #2. I seriously wonder why that is. If you know me, I don't give up and I will figure out a reason for it someday! Doing well though. In a few days, after I am over this cold, sore throat, aches and flulike sickness and not having any anxiety (!!!) I am going to add in the Tinidizole. Although, on second thought, I may wait until my upcoming 3rd fourth week of treatment passes so I don't cause a massive herxeimer reaction. Hmm. I will let you know what I end up doing.

A Quote

"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one". C .S. Lewis

I saw this on a friend's Facebook page and immediately thought to post it here. It is so true. These are the friends we long for. The friends that can understand us, or a piece of us and have been there too. They understand a piece of our heart that is hard to explain to those who have never experienced it.

Encouragement for a Weary Soul

"Like cold water to a thirsty soul is good news from a distant land". Proverbs 25:25

My husband went to New York this weekend to go pick up our stuff in storage and drive it back down so we can consolidate all our belongings before our move to Australia at the end of December this year. He made a stop and spent the night with some good and old friends of ours who have gone through some really, really hard times due to some poor choices they made. They are amazing people. Talented, hard working, brilliant but just didn't make some good choices. They have been having a really hard time financially, emotionally, in their marriage and in life for the past 4 years. Apparently for this past year, they have been doing really well. There was a turnaround of some sort and they are both prospering, have great jobs and have an infectious enthusiasm for life. I spent time talking on the phone to one of them while my husband, there in person, was chatting with the other. I felt so encouraged getting off the phone. It is not often you hear of people turning around like that after being in a hole for a while. It is SO good to hear. It gives me hope and encouragement and faith in this journey for health that I am on and in seeking my turnaround. It feels like they are better than before and I hope that I will be better than before. Is that possible after having Lyme for 4 and 1/2 years? I don't know but that is what my hope and my heart are set on. I also feel impatient now. I want to hurry up and be better already. After I see this miracle take place in my friends life, I am ready for mine. But my path is a different path and my journey is a different journey. When I started getting really sick (in the head I might add with all-encompassing anxiety) I would pray and cry out to God to heal me. I thought I was doomed for life. I didn't know what had happened to my brain but things weren't right anymore. Well, one morning, before I was barely awake and still laying in my bed, I felt God gave me a song. It wasn't a religious song. My mom and I will sometimes get spontaneous songs that we haven't heard in years while praying for certain situations. Well guess what my song was? It was George Harrison's "I Got My Mind Set On You". This song helps stay my heart and mind when I feel impatient with the process and I remember God is letting me know it is going to take TIME, a whole lot of precious time, it is going to PATIENCE and a whole lot of spending MONEY! When God gave me that song, he gave me my path and because of it, I just keep walking that path, until the day I feel ALL better! Here are the lyrics:

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you.

But it's gonna take money
a whole lotta spending money

It's gonna take plenty of money to do it right
child.
It's gonna take time
a whole lotta precious time

It's gonna take patience and time to do it
to do it

To do it
to do it
to do it
to do it right
child.

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you.

And this time I know it's real
the feeling that I feel

I know if I put my mind to it
I know that I really can do it.

You know, the last lines just really hit me.  I never really noticed them before.  I know if I put my mind to it, I know that I really can do it.  

Those are AMAZING WORDS! If it is God, which I believe it was, then this is telling me that if  I put my mind to it, then I CAN do it.  So I am believing in being all better - no matter how much patience, time and money it costs.  If you haven't noticed, I am encouraging myself in this post.  But this is what we need to keep moving on, keep taking the medicine, the vitamins, keep strong in the midst of not seeing results as fast or as soon as we want to.  

Keep the faith.

Here is a link to the song "I've Got My Mind Set on You"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f61q-Y5EOxE

Still here!

Just wanted to say I am "still here" and still plugging away at my protocol. We went away to SeaWorld for the weekend with some cousins and had a great time. We took my four kids (between the ages of 4-9) and met up with their 4 kids (between the ages 2 and 10) and we walked around SeaWorld from 10-4pm and then from 7-11pm. I carried my 60lb daughter for a long time as she was tired. I couldn't believe I could do it! I cheated and had 2 diet pepsi's for energy that day but I still I didn't expect myself to be such a trooper. Going into the day, I didn't know how I would do. Normally on any event, good or bad, that requires energy and excitement of any sort on my part, I will generally feel "wired" for about 2 days after the event and not be able to take a nap or wind myself down. I was never this way before I got sick but after I got sick I found myself being "overexcitable" with negative or positive emotions depending on the event and unable to wind down. So the good news with this trip is that I took a recovery nap right away, and then another the same day and then another the next and today I didn't need a nap. It was a normal recovery from an intense weekend. No overexcitablity. No intensely wired feelings. I was just able to rest. Right away. And that is a step in the right direction. Or a step backword to the normal me before all the lyme attacked my body. Whichever way I look at it, I am pleased with this progress towards the me I know and have always known.

A Quote

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Plugging Away

Well, I am plugging away at the antibiotics and things are going well other than the yeast/candida. It is mostly under control and almost unnoticeable now. Right now I am taking Doxycycline 200mg 2x day and Rifampin 600mg 1x day. My LLND had me taking Rifampin 2x a day but after reading Singleton's The Lyme Disease Solution where he recommends taking 600mg 1x day I have been doing that. I have not yet started the third antibiotic that is part of my beginning Lyme protocol. I have had yeast issues so I am taking Fluconozole for that at 150mg 1x day. I have to take Fluconozole for 2 weeks straight and then I will add in the third antibiotic (Tinidazole) as well as diminish Fluconozole dosage to 3x a week. I take it first thing in the morning. Then I wait 2 hours and have breakfast and take my Doxycyline. Then I wait another 2 hours and take other supplements. Then another 2 hours I have lunch and my second round of Doxycyline. Then I wait another 2 hours and take Chlorella to help detoxify my gut. Then around 5:30, 1 hour before my dinner, I take Rifampin on an empty stomach. I read that Rifampin and Fluconozole can cause drug interactions so I take them far apart. It is challenging because everything has to be seperated. No anti-fungals and antibiotics at the same time. My LLND had me taking Nystatin as well at 3 a day but it caused pretty intolerable bladder pain for me. I read that it can do that so when I have my next appointment with her I will let her know that I don't think I can take it. The Fluconozole is pretty tolerable for me though. I don't have the intensity of pain in my bladder area that I did when I took both Fluconozole and Nystatin together. My bladder pain began the very day I started taking the antifungals. I usually get it for a few days every month before my period but it has greatly diminished the past 6 months. This month it came back with a vengeance but again I think it was the Nystatin. Will wait another month and test that theory. So for right now no Nystatin for me. The bummer of it is is that Nystatin is supposed to not be absorbed by your gut so is a good medication to take long term but it doesn't seem to be working for my body. We shall see. It feels crazy putting all these medications in me. I don't like it at all. My initial excitement has worn off. The honeymoon period of taking antibiotics is over. Now I am a little disillusioned (already!) with all these antibiotics. But I am determined and I am committed to getting better. So this is the path I choose as it is the best I know.

A Quote

"Hope is like the sun, as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind it".

This is so true. Hope is what fills my heart every day. As I take my antibiotics and vitamins and minerals and supplements. I journey towards it every day!

Insurance Paid!

Well, I have Aetna and they can be tough. Just type them into the internet and see how many bajillion clinical policy bulletins come up of what they will NOT cover. Anyways, a couple of months ago, I was tested for Lyme using the Western Blot IgG and IgM by Igenex and when it came back positive my LLND tested me for all the co-infections. The initial Western Blot tests were $200 and the subsequent co-infection tests totalled to be about $1000. My insurance pays 80% out of network fees and guess what...they reimbursed me $835 with $50 still pending! How cool is that? I have heard patients having a hard time getting testing payed for with Lyme so I was expecting them, because they are so stringent in their policies, to come back and say we aren't paying for any of it, especially because it was an out of network Lyme lab. So I was just really happy yesterday when I picked up my mail, opened the letter from my insurance company and low and behold $835 in my name! It is always nice to hear a little good news!

Lonely but Blessed

Often my house is a mess. I don't commit to being on committee's or involved with my kids school. I complain of sickness alot. I have one friend but I am sure she thinks I am a hypochondriac. Even my husbands family may. But I know myself before and I know myself after. Fortunately, I have gone the completely alternative route but still using MD's and I have saved myself the stress, for the most part, of dealing with doctors who are unsupportive. I have also sequestered myself somewhat to caring for my children, my husband, my home and my health and only involving myself in the kids activities. It is enough for me to do that with a traveling husband and four kids under the age of 9. I do this to protect my energy levels and also from exposing myself to relationships where I can't give at the same level and therefore subject myself to being unfairly judged. I don't know anybody here who barely even knows what Lyme disease is. When I have talked about it, they asked if it is contagious. "No" I say. I think I just need to keep my mouth shut about it for now and keep the mystery alive as to why I never really involve myself in to much. I fully intend to engage in relationships and activities when I am feeling better but right now all my extra energy goes into my kids. And we move alot so friendships take a lot of time and work and I just haven't had it. The last placed I lived, I was blessed with a next door neighbor who had Lyme and she knew all about what I was going through. I didn't even know I had Lyme at the time but she was right there encouraging me when I felt sick all the time. We helped each other with one another's children and were just there for each other to talk. I am a Christian and she is a Christian too. We would just walk outside and talk to each other. How blessed is that? But here, I don't have that so I feel lonely. But it is okay. I am getting better. The good side is that I am home all the time with my kids. I don't have the energy to pursue other ambitions and as a result I have shared so many fun and good times with my kids that I probably wouldn't have had I been out conquering the world. I get to take my daughter to the bookstore (she's 4) and shopping and to the zoo and all those fun laid back things that stay at homes moms can do. When I think about how much time I have spent with my children it makes me feel rich and blessed and happy and fulfilled. I am looking forward to more energy in the future but I am so enjoying the treasure of time I have with my children that is in the now.

2nd Fourth Week of Treatment

I haven't been writing alot because I have been recording most of my thoughts in my daily journal. I got particularly stressed this past week about a friend situation in which a friend asked me to do a favor and I said, "Yes, what is it" and it ended up she was asking me to be on a fundraising committee which she knows I don't particularly care for in the first place. Because I had already said yes to the favor without knowing what it was I felt obligated. My husband came home and really discouraged me from doing it, because I am being treated for lyme and it is bringing on symptoms and also because we will be moving internationally in a few months and I have to begin preparing for that. I ended up e-mailing my friend and letting her know that I wasn't going to be able to do the committee after all. So I have had anxiety over that for the past week just about. It doesn't help that I am moving into the my 2nd fourth week of treatment (week 8 total) and that I am feeling anxiety and depression from that. It seems I had heightened feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, panic the last fourth week so I am just trying to ride this out. I think it is playing with my emotions and making me excessively worried about situations that would cause much less worry if I wasn't being treated right now. But I think anxiety during the 4th week is my "herxheimer" reaction because it seems to be quite specific. Time will tell! I haven't had this type of anxiety for a long time for those of you who might have read how I had successfully treated it in the past. It is like a feeling of whirring in your stomach, almost adrenaline like, but layered with fear. I have only had that feeling when I seem to get sick every year in May - which now I am coming to think it is the Lyme acting up then (that is the month when I first got sick 3 and 1/2 years ago). Right now, I am giving myself more of the sprays that I take to help off-set the heightened anxiety that I feel with the antibiotics. I have to say though, I don't feel the anxiety often, just mostly the fourth week which I am taking right now as a good sign that the antibiotics are killing off some bugs. I have found myself wanting to be creative with dinners again and cook meals for my family. Not that I didn't make dinner, but I would always just make very simple dinners, no recipes. Basically, buy hamburgers and throw them on the grill type of dinner. Since antibiotics, I have tried new pot roast recipes, made pumpkin muffins a couple of times and I think a few other new things. So it is not all bad, just occasionally which is to be expected.

Yeast and LLND Appointment Update

So my LLND (Lyme Literate Naturopathic Doctor) is prescribing me 2 weeks of daily fluconozole followed by taking 3 fluconozole pills for every week thereafter that I am taking antibiotics. She said if yeast is a problem this early in my antibiotic treatment it is going to be there all along. I am also to delay adding in my third antibiotic, tinidazole, until I am done with the 2 weeks of fluconozole so I need to go pick that up from the pharmacy. The appointment was rather short, just reporting to her symptoms and then arranging the treatment above. However, I did tell her at the beginning that I felt embarrassed that I had e-mailed her twice with worries about my daughter having lyme (she turned out to be negative) and also having the diabetic like symptoms that have for the most part passed. I think that I just am feeling more worried and panicky than normal because I am treating the lyme now and she said that the lyme can do that. Boy, do I know. It isn't bad bad though like I have had it in the past. It is just up but I guess that is a good thing. I just have to be aware and be careful not to over-react and understand this is how it is making me feel.

Bad Girl!

A few days after I got sick on Monday of this week, I started feeling ravenously hungry. Hungrier than I have ever felt in my life. I ate a TON of food that day. A TON! When I woke up the next morning I thought through how I had been frequently urinating, way more than normal, I felt thirsty all the time and I had been ravenous for a couple of days all the while I was losing pound after pound. I typed in my symptoms and up came diabetes and I just cried. I feel like I really want to treat the Lyme Disease with antibiotics but how am I going to continue if it is bringing on diabetic symptoms. I e-mailed my LLND and she let me know that she didn't think it was diabetes that was causing the intense hunger, frequent urination and thirst. Phew. I think she's right but after having had so many things go wrong with my body I tend to fear the worst-case scenario. I was sick with some sort of bug this past week as well which can cause the symptoms I was having - known as transient hyperglycemia so I should not worry. Could just be from by body fighting the Lyme.

So, my appetite has still been much higher than normal although not as intense as it was a few days ago. My weight seems to be dropping a bit. So much so that I snuck two pieces of pizza this morning (BAD!!! I know) but I felt so hungry and they were there and I just ate them! Now I will have to delay taking my doxy this morning because I ate CHEESE pizza!!! I was all set to go down and make eggs for breakfast and low and behold - two boxes of cold Pizza Hut pizza were staring me in the face from our Friday night pizza movie night and I was overtaken (also I knew in the back of my mind I could take another fluconozole pill to fight off the yeast...bad!!!) My yeast infection is coming back - there have been little itty bits of sugar (in the taco sauce) and refined carbs (tortillas) that I have snuck this week. I know I am terrible. It is really hard to eat no sugar, no refined carbs and no milk! I just found that they had milk proteins in the taco sauce I was sparingly using! Ugh! I was trying to find something without milk that I can eat when I take my doxycycline. Unfortunately I have misplaced my Lyme Diet book and may need to end up buying another one because it has meal ideas in it. I don't want to replace it because it is now $29 on Amazon so I am waiting to see if it turns up somehow, somewhere but it has already been 2 weeks so it may be time to purchase another copy. I need to go and get more hummus because I left mine out overnight. That was the one thing that was a good standby. I would just take some celery and carrots and dip them in the hummus and be good to go. It was filling and tasty so that is on my shopping list now.

Sick

Well, my son had a croupy cough and then my daughter got it really bad. She had barking coughs throughout the night and "stridor" which is very loud throaty breathing that just sounds painful. I don't have any croup like coughing but yesterday at about noon I felt stomach pain and then was so tired I fell asleep and took a nap on the couch for 2 hours. I had been up in the middle of the night the past 2 nights with my daughter who had the croup so it was much needed rest. Good thing I woke up because I had to go pick up my kids from school! When I woke up I had terrible pain throughout the flanks on my back which I assume are my kidneys based on what I know from being at the doctor. After picking up my kids, I went and layed down on my bed for a few hours until I needed to make dinner. My back felt a little better. Today my right side still hurts which I am assuming is liver pain as there is tenderness there. I did a coffee enema to help my body detox as well as took a baking soda, aloe vera and epsom salt bath. Beside that, my nose is running, I am sneezing alot and I just feel pretty weak as in I am moving much more slowly and have to take breaks alot between trying to keep a handle on the messes that four children make when their mother is too weak to get after them to clean up. If the pain worsens or doesn't go away, I will go into urgent care to make sure nothing more serious is happening but I think things are slowly on the upswing rather than the down.

Darn Candida!

Ugh! Prolific sweet flavored phlegm. This is so disgusting. I hate it too. But I am figuring out this darn candida thing that has bothered on and off. Throughout pregnancy I would always get this sweet flavored phlegm, nausea and feel unmotived and low. My kids were born with thrush and had to take nystatin. My symptoms always resolved after pregnancy. Thank goodness! Until I got sick. I noticed a pattern of feeling sluggish, down and low accompanied by phlegm. Well guess what I am feeling now? Those very things. But you know what? They started the VERY day my yeast infection went balistic. So I think I have found the culprit. Darn this yeast! I hate it! I don't know how I am going to deal with this if I have to do a year or years of antibiotic therapy with Lyme. Seriously? I am so glad I figured this out and will know how to treat those symptoms if and when they occur in the future but I am not liking it right now!!! I just feel yuck. It's not a herxheimer. It is yeast. If you know me, you know I will be working on a way to beat the yeast but I am sure it will take awhile!

A potential Herxheimer remedy

So as you know I was just reading and quoted something from the Jemsek Specialty Clinic site. I am continuing to read the wealth of information they have and I have found a new remedy for dealing with a Herxheimer reaction per Russell McMillan DDS, DPH:

A 1 1/2 hour hot bath (!) with:

1 cup salt

1 cup soda (I assume he means baking soda and not Coke!)

1 cup Epsom salts

1 cup aloe vera

Here is the reference for the remedy:

Given the miserable experience which we may exact on our patients during therapy, we would perhaps be better off if we followed the advice of Russell McMillan, DDS, DPH, who wrote the Arthritis Trust of America in 1994 with his personal remedy for the Herxheimer reaction. "I take a saltz bath which consists of adding 1 cup salt, 1 cup soda, 1 cup Epsom salts, 1 cup aloe vera, to a hot bath which I remain in and keep hot for about 11/2 hours all the while consuming about 2 quarts of warm water. Evidently the perspiration and osmotic pressure removes the causative toxins. I find it quite helpful" (117). Hey, sounds ok to us.

Could it be?

I've read of recurring Erythema Migrans before I started my antibiotics. I have had this rash start about 2 weeks into Doxycycline. I don't remember a mosquito or anything biting me as of late to get such a large welt there. It did have a very faint ring around it that went up to my wrist about 6 days ago. Now the top is raising and has a reddish purple ring around it. It was itching pretty intensely when the large ring was around it but it has died down. It has just remained a raised 3/4 inch red flat welt/bump with the ring around it. Could this be my original bite recurring now that I am taking antibiotics?

I found some information on a recurring EM rash with antibiotic therapy from the Jemsek Specialty Clinic website:

A little recognized fact about the EM rash is that it can recur, usually in the original site, with or without antibiotic therapy. We estimate that between 5-10% of patients demonstrate this phenomenon during their illness. Other patients remark that they have migratory rashes of moderate duration from time to time that remain unexplained. It is more common, in our experience, to observe the presence of recurrent EM after the onset of antimicrobial therapy. We note that some patients erupt with rash repeatedly while on antibiotic therapy, often in different areas. Eventually this dissipates as the patient improves on antibiotic therapy. Pressure points may play a role in the appearance of the rash, but gravitational influence does not appear to play a role in terms of the site of eruption, i.e. as one would see in a vasculitis-like presentation characteristic of most drug reactions. The first appearance of rash has been reported as late as 6 months into therapy (personal observation). This has led to obvious diagnostic challenges when one is on antibiotic therapy and has to consider a drug reaction. However, we have come to recognize that the LD rash on treatment presents as flat or occasionally raised coalescent islands of erythema, in contrast to the classic generalized morbilliform rash caused by a drug reaction. When confronted with this clinical picture, the Jemsek Specialty Clinic views this as a positive indication of therapeutic benefit, probably representing a dermal form of the "Herxheimer reaction", and so we generally proceed cautiously on with antibiotic therapy, usually with eventual resolution of the rash.

Understanding Rifampin

I think I just found the reasoning behind why Dr. Singleton writes in is book The Lyme Disease Solution to take Rifampin 3 hours away from other medicine. I found this by re-reading Dr. Burrascano's 2008 Guidelines in which he states in regards to Rifampin:

"Finally, because this drug (Rifampin) is an inducer of cytochromes, co-administration with other medications may result in lower and more brief blood levels of the coadministred drug".

Basically, it will get rid of the Doxy in my blood if I take them together so definitely a good idea to separate them as Dr. Terese Yang advises as well.

Added in more Rifampin

Well, I just took 2 300mg Rifampin pills instead of the 1 300mg pill I was taking. Hopefully this won't worsen the yeast infection which, btw, I took 1 diflucan pill for today and will take another in 72 hours. My stomach feels sore and tender but I am thinking it is from the increase in yeast. My body doesn't like yeast, it is the thing I am most reactive to via allergy testing, albeit IgG and not IgE although my throat closes a bit when I eat bread products. Anyways, I don't think I have Bartonella because I don't really feel anxious so I am adding in that 2nd pill just to see if it brings out anxiety which could then indicate Bartonella. If it doesn't, I am pretty sure I don't have it, which of course, would be fantastic!

Another Good Doctor's Appt.

Relief. I went to Urgent Care today and the doctor gave me 1 prescription for diflucan and 2 refills plus nystatin cream. Thank you Lord! I didn't even ask for the refills or the cream but he asked me how long I will be taking antibiotics and I told him I didn't know. He then said he was going to give me a few refills. I meant to ask for the cream but forgot. My blood pressure was 128 over 88 today so it was a little high. It could be fear of asking the doc for a prescription related to Lyme Disease treatment or it just could be the antibiotics or maybe getting high blood pressure. I have never had high blood pressure.

Side note. I felt embarrassed when the nurse looked at my chart and saw lithium on there. There are such a negative stigma attached to that medication and I felt her looking at me with different eyes. Like she wasn't dealing with a normal person and it makes me feel bad. She was a great nurse, I really liked her but truth be told I might be afraid of people who took those medications until I became one of them and know how it feels. I told her I had been sick for 3 1/2 years and we finally found out it was Lyme. I don't know what they think when they see my chart that I had lithium on there and then I no longer take it. Maybe they think it was a fluke thing. Hopefully.

Raging Candida

Well, after adding in the Rifampin a couple of days ago what I have now is a raging yeast/candida infection. Ugh. I am going to go to urgent care tomorrow and request some diflucan or nystatin. Whatever works for this. It has been hard to re-adjust diet now that I am adding in the antibiotics because you have to take them at certain times away from other foods and other supplements or whatnot and it gets very complicated. The only simple carb I had today was about 15 potato chips. I know, not good. But it is better than yesterday. I have felt extremely fatigued, lonely and light depressed feeling manifesting in the form of discouragment but I am thinking it is the yeast infection. I am actually allergic to yeast and so I think my body is not liking this. I have noticed the past few days when I have tried to swallow my vitamins and antibiotics my throat has been tighter so I am thinking that is caused by the yeast too. Why? Because when I eat bread my throat gets tight as well so I think the yeast in my body is tightening my throat. I also have like this sweet flavored phlegm that I am coughing up. Disgusting and too much information. It helps me to write it out here so that I will know in the future what my symptoms are and what they can be attributed to but I know these type of body things are super disgusting. I should also note that the yeast infection began a couple of days after beginning Doxycycline but after adding the Rifampin has quadrupled. Anyways, I feel discouraged I have such a bad yeast infection just a week and a half into the doxy and 4 days into the Rifampin. My stomach feels tender too and I have had gas as well which I believe is the yeast. Still thinking I may not have Bartonella because I don't seem to have much of an increase in anxiety. We shall see. From what I can tell, the Lyme is what is giving me the anxiety because I felt anxious pretty strong there on my fourth week of herbs. I would be grateful if I didn't have bartonella. But I am not grateful about the Babesia Duncani! Especially when others say it is the most difficult to get rid of. Well isn't that great! Here's to hoping I get rid of it!

On Weight Gain

Well. I am a woman. And I want to be fit. Lyme causes exercise intolerance. Lithium causes weight gain. When I didnt know what was causing my depression and anxiety about 2 years ago I began taking lithium. I had a hair analysis test that revealed very low levels of lithium so that is what made me think it would help. It did help, and very quickly resolved my low feelings. I knew it could cause weight gain but feeling as terrible as I did I was willing to take the risk. I have been off of it for a year and a half but I gained 3-5 pounds every month I was on it and have not been able to lose it It is really, really frustrating. I wish it would just melt away but it hasn't. I pray nearly every day that I can lose all this weight. I feel ashamed to be around friends and family who knew me before. Even though this isn't all my fault, I just feel so ashamed that I look like I do when I was the one running long distances and training for marathons before they ever set foot in a running shoe. Now I am the one who no longer does those things while I watch all my friends, who start putting on the pounds hit the gym, go running and be in the greatest shape of their lives. It is hard for me to be on the outside. I have topped my top pregnancy weight (my 6th pregnancy) by about 15 pounds. It is just so embaressing. I don't know how to lose it all. The day I do, I will feel like I have arrived. And I intend to experience that day!

Rifampin Update - Or lack of!

Well, the Rifampin has turned my urine orange. How's that for not beating around the bush? But that is what it is supposed to do. I am at the 24 hour point and I don't feel much mentally but I do feel more muscle pains here and there on the increase. I also had a brief moment where my right ear felt 'full' or like I almost couldn't hear out of it but this was fleeting. This leads me to believe that perhaps I don't have Bartonella after all. Because of my overriding symptom of anxiety we suspected Bartonella, even though my testing revealed Lyme and Babesia Duncani but not Bartonella. From what I have read, if you have Bartonella, Rifampin is supposed to cause a sharp increase in anxiety type symptoms the first week you take it and then you should feel alot better at the 3 week point. We shall see. This lyme journey is interesting. Never thought I had Babesia, always thought it was Bartonella, but maybe I am wrong about the Bartonella too!

Tonight...Adding Rifampin

I just took my first 3oomg pill of Rifampin tonight at 6:2opm. I learned after listening to Dr. Terese Yang that they are to be taken away from Doxycycline or else they will bind together. I also recall reading somewhere that a doctor (I think from The Lyme Disease Solution/Singleton) that he recommends patients take Rifampin in the evening (2 300 mg pills). He also has them wait a week to get up to the 600mg dose so that is what I am going to do. I will do 300mg Rifampin for one week then add the next 300 mg in. I am a little nervous to begin another medication and get the mental side effects. That is, unless nothing happens and then I will know I probably don't have Bartonella. I did the HH2 Zhang capsules and I don't seem to notice anything when I added those into my herbal protocol. Speaking of, I have been out of the Zhang capsules for 2 days now. And I will know I don't have Erhlichia as well because they both respond to Rifampin. If I remember correctly, if I have Bartonella, my symptoms should worsen the first few weeks I am on Rifampin then greatly improve, with the first week being the worst. So, here we go!

Antibiotics & Yeast Infection

So, it has arrived. The lovely antibiotic induced yeast infection. Ugh. Next time I talk to my doc I am going to get some fluconozole or nystatin or something. I have been struggling to keep sugar, carbs and dairy out of my diet. I just haven't made that transition. I was doing much better BEFORE I started the antibiotics but now I feel a little stalemated. I search the cupboards to find something to eat that is substantial enough to not make me feel nauseated when I take the antibiotics. It has been the CLIF builders bar with 20 grams protein. But it has sugar. Ugh. But it is in line with the Insulin Resistance diet. But not good because it still has sugar and yeast love that stuff so I have to stop eating those. Problem is, I can't find The Lyme Diet book by Dr. Nicola McFadzaen that has a bunch of meal suggestions. Second problem is that my protein powder tastes bland so I was adding NuMedica chocolate flavored greens powder that is sweetened with Stevia to add good flavor. Well, I just bought more but the problem with that is that it contains probiotics with will keep my body from absorbing antibiotics so I can no longer mix the protein powder with the greens! So I am back to square one. I'll get it down. I pray I find that book too.

Weird Doxy

So the other night (I think it was yesterday or the day before) I was sitting on the couch with my computer and with all the kids who were watching a movie and all of a sudden I just felt big. As if I was almost airy and expanding. That is a first for me. It is like you are being filled with air...it must have been some weird central nervous system effect from the Doxy because it was quite unusual and un-earthly feeling. On another note, my feet seem to be feeling better. I was in the bathroom getting ready and feeling the bath carpet under my toes and thinking "this feels really good". I normally always wear Crocs sandals to help me not feel the pain in my feet when I am walking but I have been noticing it subsiding while on the Doxy so thumbs up. Thumbs down on increased yeast though. I will have to make some dietary changes and get a fluconozole or nystatin prescription because I don't want major flare-ups. Anxiety is down so that is super. Will be adding in 300mg Rifampin here shortly and then upping it to 600mg per day.

Hit 72 hours and feeling the Doxy

Okay. I felt like I wasn't able to concentrate and guess what it has been 72 hours just like it has been written and I believe the Lyme is starting to die off and I am experiencing a herxeimer reaction which means for me is that I have anxiety. Just a feeling in my throat and stomach completely unrelated to life because life is really great right now. I feel happy. I just have anxiety. Weird, I know but wow. I guess I am casebook. I had the 4th week reaction to the herbals and I have the 72 hour reaction to Doxy. Great! It actually really is good as it means bugs are dying. I just took 600mg magnesium and 6 sprays of 5-htp. Hopefully that will bring calm!

FDA Supplement Ban Bill

If you value taking your supplements and having freedom of choice, like I do, read on. Your supplements are being threatened. According to Mercola, 20,000-40,000 supplements may be pulled from the shelves if this legislation is approved with between 20-40 billion in annual loss to our US economy. My husband takes melatonin every night to get to sleep - this prevents him from having to take an addictive pharmaceutical. I don't even take one pharmaceutical and I have gotten rid of 75% of all my Lyme and co-infection system and can live a pretty stable and normal life through supplements and this is why this matters to me greatly. Check out the video and the information on this link for more:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/09/13/fda-to-ban-new-supplements-and-classify-them-like-food-preservatives.aspx

Listening in on Klinghardt/Mercola Interviews

Here is the link to their interview which I found on Jenna's Lyme Blog. Thanks Jenna!

www.lymediseaseresource.com/wordpress/dr-mercola-interviews-dr-klinghardt-re-chronic-lyme-disease/

So far so good on Doxy!!!

Well, this is my 3rd day in on Doxycycline. It is my first Lyme antibiotic. AND! I can report that I had a few brief moments of numbness and tingling in my toes last night but other than that it is all good! And all good I mean that I am feeling a piece of me coming back again that I really didn't know if I would ever get back (it could be the Gingko that I am taking helping as well but I don't think so because I took that a few weeks ago)! I feel creative, I feel motivated and I am walking on my feet with out my flip flops and I don't feel pain! That is great! I have had foot pain for 3 and 1/2 years with about a 5 month period without it. So it's all good news for me on Doxy. I am at 2 100mg pills 2x a day. The next antibiotic I will be adding in about a week is Rifampin. I learned from listening to Dr. Therese Yang's video on Lyme that it needs to be taken 2 hours from Doxy or they will bind! I think my doc forgot to mention that to me. God is good and I think he is helping me - I think it also helps that I am doing chlorella, my vitamin protocol, mineral baths too...

Sweet, sweet relief

My daughter's visit with the doctor went amazing. I was so supported and got exactly what I came in for - IgeneX testing plus mosquito allergy and IgG levels to see if her immunity is low. It went great. Her blood for IgeneX was drawn today and will be sent out today. How fantastic is that? I am just really blessed. I will probably start her on herbs - astralagus, olive leaf, grapefruit seed extract and maybe something else cat's claw and/or reservatrol. I just feel happy. I took her to the mall and she rode the carousel 3 times, then we went to the Cheesecake Factory where we had a barbeque chicken salad and a slice of original cheesecake to go, and we also watched the kids practicing at the ice skating rink inside the mall. Lastly, we went into the Disney store where she picked out a Snow White doll, not the barbie type, but the really soft ones. It was a great day and I am glad I felt supported as a mom. Before coming home we went into the apartment office to pick up a package that we had a slip for and upon walking out, one of the employees, in a conversation with another employee said "Mom's know their kids better than anyone else". I think that the Holy Spirit may have inspired him to say that because that's how I feel and it is what I needed to hear - especially after taking my daughter into the doctor to have her blood drawn for the first time in her life!!!!

PS - Still no reaction whatsoever from taking Doxycycline. If I do have one it will be coming tomorrow or the next day as I have read it takes about 48-72 hours for a reaction as it takes that long for the lyme spirochetes to die off. I think.

Started first antibiotic today - Doxy

Well, I just took my first doxycycline pill today at 10am. I have been really putting it off. It scares me. I think I am also just having a case of the scares lately. I feel anxiety here and there and it has gotta be the treatment because it is unusual and reminiscent of a year and a half ago before I started amino acid therapy. I also woke up grinding my teeth this morning so that is not good. I found a website that has the top lyme blogs and I read some of them. Very discouraging some peoples reaction to just the doxycycline so I am not so enthusiastic about starting the medication. Ah well. Maybe it will work for me.

Waking up and Wishing

Well, my husband was fumbling around to find his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night and it woke me up so here I am, on the internet, site hopping and enjoying some home and family life style blogs. I actually went to school for Interior Design for one year and then went on to go to a bible school for 4 years. I had a huge creative streak in me and I loved, loved decorating. Looking at these blogs makes me think about how I would be taking cool pictures of all of my creations but with Lyme it seems that the creative side of my brain doesn't function very often. I seem to do better during the winter months, although it is September, still really hot here and my creativity hasn't seemed to kick in. In my mind, I would like to make some fall decorations and decorate the house but 1) I started lyme herbals and they seem to make me more tired, 2) we are moving to Australia in a few months and everything I do will just go into storage and 3) I am unmotivated and tired from the Lyme which is really just number one rephrased. So when I am too tired to be creative I daydream and imagine it in my head. I imagine I have a beautiful home, and that during fall it is decorated in checks, apples, leaves and good smelling candles. In December, my house of my dreams have Christmas trees in nearly every room in the house....small and large. The kids rooms each have a tree with their very own ornaments that they have received and collected through the years. There are people milling about, friends and family, enjoying themselves in the comforts of our home. It is a comfortable, warm, friendly place to be. I am in the kitchen moving about or sitting down in the corner with a cup of tea chatting with an old friend. I am driving my grandkids to their lessons and babysitting them during the day to help out my children in any way that I can. I am writing books in my spare time to encourage those going through hard times. I have the occasional bible study/prayer group at my house (we rotate homes). I have a special holiday party every year and during New Years our whole family enjoys the snow and cozies up together in the house to enjoy each other's company as we ring in the new year. I have diligently studied health and nutrition and often help young moms and ladies with different health concerns they are facing. I donate my time to a local government clinic as a nutritionist for their patients as a free service to the public. I also work with a primary care physician in helping their patients implement long term health goals. Well, maybe those not the last two things as I am still 'up in the air' as to if I really want to go back to naturopathic school or not. The real deal, I want my family to be happy, healthy and successful and I want my home to be be-U-tiful! So those are my dreams and this is why I salivate over these home and family blogs where the women have it all under control and use their excess energy to create! OH, I long for the day! In the meantime, I live my life reading their blogs and feeling my mind with all their creativity and it is a good thing for now.

Falling off the bandwagon

Well, when things get hard I fall off the bandwagon. I had a routine going of exercise every 5th day and eating pretty healthy throughout the days (juicing, protein shakes, etc) but during the 4th week of treatment I just did whatever made me feel good and it certainly wasn't exercising. I just was tired, anxious, up late and too stressed to think about juicing. I wish this wasn't my downfall. I know some people are so die-hard routine oriented and I wish I was for the sake of my health and family but it is really hard for me to "stick with it" when I feel like that. Maybe it is something I will recognize and push through as I get used to treating lyme.

Today I'm tired

So, today I am tired, and unmotivated. Ugh. Also seven days before the cycle begins. However, I feel much more fatigued this month so there is a definite link to the naturopathic herbs that I have started and been doing for a month now. My house is a mess. Didn't take the kids to karate today because we have had something every night this week after school and I mean every so I decided to let them rest and me rest and not go to the 9:30-10:30 class. They were overjoyed because it means more game time for them. They wake up and play video games until we tell them "no more" which was today at 5pm. Bad I know but they don't play any video games during the week and look forward to Friday and Saturday to play games although I am thinking that it would be better if they did 40 minutes of reading/math/spelling and then they would get 20 minutes game time (and maybe throw so clean up time in there too). And then take away Saturday morning gaming until they did clean-up of toys then they could do it Saturday afternoon. That way they wouldn't complain when I make them stop playing games to go to karate. I know that has nothing to do with lyme but as I sit here staring at the mess of children's toys and dishes that are piling up everywhere, it is what I am thinking about. I sure hope this fatigue gets better because I'm not liking it!!!

Found a local Doc! Yet to go!

So, I was calling around today to find out if it was okay to take herbals before taking the western blot test and I thought to ask if anyone knew of any lyme docs in the my area which I live. I got 4 suggestions! Sweet! So I called and I made an appointment with one of them for my daughter and apparently they take my insurance. Not to mention they will take her on Monday at 10am. That is one business day after I called!!! Thank you Jesus! (I don't want to get my hopes to high because I have been disappointed when I had high hopes for doctors and they fell flat or worse!) Maybe it was the Holy Spirit that lead me that direction because I was at wit's end and had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to pay $325 out of pocket with no reimbursement do a phone appointment with my California naturopath (my insurance requires a face-to-face appt. to be eligible for reimbursement and my Cali doc is not available for another 2-3 weeks to do one PLUS we would need to fly out) to get her started on testing and herbals and now I will only pay my $5 copay! (Yes my husband has really good insurance except they are not very lyme/nutrition testing friendly but the copays are unbeatable). So that is a burst of good news. On a side note, I was supposed to start Doxycycline today for myself but I didn't because I felt like going out and having a tomato, mozzerella, basil panini (1 and 1/2 to be exact) and then later on I went and sat out in the sun. One last hurrah of dairy and sunshine before Doxy! I actually had a little bit of iced tea and I think it gave me a bit of jittery anxiety type feeling although it is hard to determine if it is that or the fourth week of treatment that I am still in (with only the herbal protocol). I don't know, I think I am going to eat some of the friday night routine fare as well....pizza!

Emotionally Tired

Went to the pediatrician today and I am too tired to elaborate much but basically he wants my other doc to make a decision on the antibiotics. She doesn't have anything that shouts "lyme" so that is fine. Also Texas is apparently a hostile environment for doctors to treat lyme as no doctors names are found anywhere on the message boards. Nice. So I am having a telephone consult with my naturopath doc to order bloodwork and start herbals for her. I am sure I am just overstressed but I feel like she has something driving her to have all these little outbreaks and things going wrong. She has a bright red nose boil right now and it is making the end of her nose look like Rudolph on one side. I am just exhausted. I was so emotionally anxious about this appt. with her pediatrician because I knew it would be a long shot to get antibiotics in Texas for lyme and it was. I tried. The route of least resistance was not that (!!!) but to go with my established lyme doc even though if I have a phone appt to establish my daughter as a patient I will have to pay $325 out of pocket and it will be non-reimbursable because it wasn't a face to face. If it is lyme, we'll fly them down to see the doctor. That way my hubby, and my other child can have a face to face with the doc as well and then we will be all established via insurance and get 80% reimbursement. Yippee. I am up late again. Not been eating too great. Exhausted because I stayed up late last night listening to a Dr. Terese Yang video and now tonight because I am still a little wound up from today. Take a deep breath. Release. Things will be fine, I know but better safe than sorry.

Relieved.

Relieved on two counts. Count 1. Magnesium. I haven't been taking it for almost 2 weeks and guess what? Magnesium deficiency can cause nights sweats and anxiety so I have been loading up today and I have to say, I feel much better! So maybe it was a combo of the 4th week of treatment and forgetting to put my magnesium up with the rest of my vitamins so I could remember to take it. Count 2. My doctor e-mailed me back and let me know that she thought it was right that I was concerned about my daughter. Phew. Don't know why it matters so much, but it really bothers me to be perceived as a paranoid whack job. I think all women are protective of our kids and want what is best for them. I just feel better. Downside. She's not back in the office until September 21st as she is on vacation so I couldn't get my daughter on antibiotics until then. Ugh. That is like 2.5 weeks and would be 3 by the time we could get there. In light of this , I just scheduled a visit with my daughter's pediatrician who is DAN doctor but not an LLMD and doesn't have much experience with lyme disease (and may not want any for that matter!) Ideally, I would like to get her on 28 days of cefuroxime but I'll "settle" for 21 if he is willing to work with me. I feel a little scared talking to a doc who doesn't know much about it. "My daughter got bit by a mosquito, she then developed irritability, a purple mark on her face, then another red dot, then this bubble with white dots, then she had flushed red cheeks, then her back hurt, then her leg hurt, then she starts emotionally breaking down over dumb stuff, then she gets two passing red ovals on her leg and then her face, then last night she woke up in the middle of the night and had a croupy cough and then she just caught the nose sore thing that I have had for years (my husband had but it went away). She could have caught that years ago but why now. Personally, I think her immune system has been down since the bite and I would feel more comfortable in treating her for a lyme, or a lyme like situation because it all began with that darn bite!" I hope they help me because I lose sleep because it has now been six weeks and I am at the point where there are just too many "little" things adding up. Things she has never had before.

Naturopathic Treatment Update

As I wrote before, I am on week 4 of treatment and I am 5 days in to artemesinin. I noticed about 3 days ago (2 days into artemesinin and 3 weeks into the other treatments) I began to have dry skin above my eye below my eyebrow. When I put on makeup it looks "cakey" becuase the skin is peeling off almost like I have eczema. Just an observation. I am also very tired today, had a burst of worry yesterday, have "headaches" behind my eyes and feel very lethargic as well as having a general headache too. So that is my week 4. Yesterday, I seriously felt like I could use a valium to calm me down I felt so stressed and uptight. It has been a LONG time since I have felt like that. It's gotta be the Lyme treatment, right?

The 4th week of treatment.

Okay. So I think I am understanding why yesterday morning I woke up from a dream about my daughter having spirochetes in a panic state and emailed my doctor how I want to get her on antibiotics because of all the things I listed in my previous post "Scared". I think I am understanding why this morning I woke up with sweat all over my back and neck, had anxiety when my husband wasn't in bed (he was downstairs reading) and then woke up with a dry mouth, feeling very hot and now I have a headache (oh and not to mention the bloody nose). To be clear, I haven't had these symptoms for about 2 years as I have been on vitamins to prevent them. Here is a quote from Dr. Burrascano's 2008 Guidelines that I think explains it all:

"With treatment, these monthly symptom flares are exaggerated and presumably represent recurrent Herxheimer-like reactions as Bb enters its vulnerable growth phase and then are lysed. For unknown reasons, the worst occurs at the fourth week of treatment. Observation suggest that the more severe this reaction, the higher the germ load, and the more ill the patient".

So that is what I am going through. I honestly feel like such an idiot, and I seriously mean I feel really stupid for e-mailing my doctor about my daughter in my semi-panic state. I came across like for sure she had lyme. I truly think there is a 99% liklihood she doesn't have it at all! I am just scared and want to be safe, that's all, but it is embarassing if the doc thinks you a total whackjob! Ugh. If only we could erase e-mails and take them back after sending them, I would totally have taken the e-mail back. Anyways, I then re-mailed her (per my husbands advice of trying to make me feel a little more at peace with my idiocy) and said that I was probobly just an over-worried parent!

So the previous paragraphs were written this morning. The status now is, no e-mail back from my doc AND another red oval is appearing on my daughter's cheek. This time I am not freaking out like I did yesterday but I am thinking there is something going on. She also appears to have a little scar at the place of the mosquito bite from Yellowstone. The oval she had two nights ago has disappeared. In fact it had nearly disappeared the morning after the night she had it. It had almost completely faded. And now 2 days later, a new one on her face. I don't like waiting. My husband has the exact antibiotic they give to kids for lyme and the dose is half a tablet per day. Trust me, I am really tempted to give it to her but I am waiting to do it the right way and go through the doctor. By the way, the little ovals don't itch so they are not bed bugs. She sleeps in the same bedroom with her 3 brothers (she doesn't want to sleep in her own) and none of them have these little red dots.