Stress

Well, we had a great weekend skiing.  I, did not ski.  I just took care of gearing up 4 kids under the age of 12 and believe me, that is ALOT of work. And managing the food and the preparation of everything.  It was alot for me.  AND...I did not take my medicine for 3 days straight.  We had guests come and go from the cabin so I really was not able to rest at all during the day and was often up late doing runs for the family from the ski run.  I wish I could say it was relaxing for me, but it wasn't and I am okay with that. It was for the kids.  I wanted them to have a great experience.  And they did.

But this week, I had a meltdown.  The first three days after the trip I slept the entire day during when the kids were at school.  My brain was fuzzy and I really couldn't do anything but watch tv or look at the computer.  I was too tired to clean, to engage in conversation.  I had NO energy.  Then I got a note that my child, who has been in the gifted and talented in 2 other school districts, is getting a D+ in math.  This was shocking news as he is a very highly capable student.  I was so tired, the house was a mess, my husband was being unsupportive with his own issues and my son was now struggling at school.  Then the next day I got an email that unless he raises his grade in a day or makes a plan to that he will not be allowed to participate in a band concert that is during school and part of his grade. I just absolutely melted.  This is the first time I have ever been in tears weeping in front of my kids.  My issues with Lyme Disease and not having energy, my husbands issues that are constantly tearing down my soul, one of my sons who has add issues and then this with my one kid who usually manages to get straight A's.  I just absolutely melted and the sad thing is that this is the first time he has really gotten a bad grade so it made it seem like it was a huge deal.  What was a huge deal was that I just felt so overwhelmed.  It was the straw that broke the camels back.  I just absolutely started weeping and then that night had a fight with my husband.  Thankfully, I am on my medicine and had got rest the previous 3 days so I am doing okay but my head hurts from staying up last night and arguing with my husband.  So right now, again, I am completely wiped.  I can't help but realize that my emotions and feeling so intensely overwhelmed was also due to being completely wiped out as well ad a herx from starting up the meds after 3 and 1/2 days of not taking them.  That is enough time for all the spirochetes to come out of hiding and come out to play and so I think I also had a massive herx because I was sleeping for 3 days and had an intense headache the ENTIRE time.

So right now, I just want me to be right.  I want to have the energy to deal with all the normal stuff life sends my way. But my husband is half functioning right now and I am half functioning with the Lyme Disease and it is hard to be half a person when you know what it is like to be a whole person.

I just felt like giving up.  Like no matter how much I give, or try, I can't make up for people who are irresponsible and unhelpful.  I give advice, I offer help but they screw it up.  It is hard to continue to care and it gets exhausting.  Maybe it is good, maybe I have things to learn.  But right now, I just need rest again.  I have yet to add in the Biaxin and Malarone because I am so tired and fatigued right now that I need to wait until I am in a better place.

Humaworm - Started It

Okay.  I started Humaworm a couple of days ago.  This morning.  I decided to investigate the stool in the toilet.  OMG.  Okay.  There were black poppy seed size things dotting the stool and when I poked at the stool with a long metal skewer to break it up, the black poppy seed things, rose to the top of the toilet bowl and I could see they had a translucent flagella on EVERY single one of them.  Definately a creature and NOT a food.  I also found a flattened kidney bean shaped thing which I pulled apart and figured just must be some food I ate. It was a different color than the rest of the stool.  Like a dark red.  Now I am looking up varioius types of things on the internet and I realize it is a LIVER FLUKE.  AACCCKKK>  This is gross!  The thing is, I have been taking tinidazole for 6 months now and this stuff is still alive in me and the humaworm is getting it out.  Tinidazole treats some parasitic infections. I can't figure what the black poppy seed things are but they look to be a 'flagella trophozite".  There were 25 of them floating around in there and I hadn't even broken apart the rest of the stool.  So super gross.

A few months into treating with the tinidazole, my stools normalized.  Before the tinidazole, they were often light yellow and floating in the toilet.  After being on tinidazole they were more well formed and brown and sunk to the bottom of the toilet.  My lyme doctor said the improvement in stool was probably because I had intestinal parasites and the tinidazole was treating them.  Well, apparently I still have some stuff in there that the tinidazole DIDN"T treat.  So this is now definitely on my radar.

I had a metametrix test done a few years back on my stool.  It said that I had a parasiate, taxonomy unavailable and that is was likely an ingested parasite from food.  Well - nope.  They were real parasite in there.

Last summer, I took humaworm for a couple of days before giving up on it. I think because I started my antibiotics too and I was afraid of a reaction between them.  However, I did have some interesting things in my stool at that time.  I had oval shaped eggs all over.  Like rice dotting the stool.  But they were not rice.  They were sort of soft and jelly like.  Anyways.  I have not had those at all this time of doing Humaworm, although I expected to get them.  I am thinking that those were the parasites the Tinidazole must have treated but now the Humaworm is treating more stuff that the Tinidazole didn't get at.  Sheesh.  This is going to be interesting.

Since starting the Humaworm treatment (I think this is my 3rd day of it) I have had some symptoms increase.  They were much like the symptoms I had when I started the A-Bab formula by Byron White for Babesia.  Let me see - Today, I had a feeling like my skull cracking behind my right ear and I am having numbness in my toes.  I woke up and dry heaved several times.  Yesterday - I felt pain in my ears, and a pain under my left rib cage. I also felt pain in my left arm.  I had heart palpatations several times as well which made me feel worried.  I am taking antibiotics so I was hoping that the humaworm was not interacting poorly with the antibiotics but when I felt that aching in my left rib and left arm I realized it was the same symptoms from the A-Bab and so most likely bugs getting hit.  So I took an aspirin to thin my blood.  I don't want any circulation issues and I know left arm signals problems with the heart.  This morning I took some hawthorn and will continue to take that to support my heart as well as I will take some aspirin.  Unfortunately I don't have the 80 mg tablets of aspirin (I just had the 325 mg on hand) so I will go to the store today and get some baby aspirin to help my heart as whatever is going on is affecting it a bit.  Babesia affects the heart and I have tested positive for that so besides the Humaworm treating parasites/worms it is probably hitting the Babesia too so I want to take care of my heart.  I need it!!!! I will post updates to the humaworm treatment in the comments for this post. I am considering adding in 1/4 tsp salt/c now as well because I most certainly do have some parasitic action going on here.

Tired of Treatment

I just want to be all better.  I just want to be me.  There is still so much ahead of me that I have yet to do.  Haven't tried.  There are things beyond me that once I am better I need to turn my attention to.  Health issues in my family.  My husband has things that could stand being tested.  One of my little ones has ADD type symptoms and I would like to take a look at that nutritionally.  Another one of my little ones has eczema and I would like to take a look at that too.  It is hard to focus on them, when I am constantly in treatment.  Today is one of those days when I just want to be done.  Better already.  I am not complaining.  I am really grateful for the progress I have made.  My feet don't hurt all the time.  My brain isn't confused or psychotic.  I am not anxious.  But I am still not me.  As I write tonight, my vision is blurred and I can barely make out the words as I type them.  I feel lethargic.

I have been researching Dr. Amy Yasko's Nutrigenomics panel that is $495.  It looks like it would be helpful to me and my family members but it is ALOT of money.  I just need to do it.  I am too blurry minded to say why but basically I really need to help my body detox from this disease and want to make sure I do it right.

There are other things I want to do too.  Try out cholestryamine for detox.   Try the Humaworm anti-parasite treatment.  Start the Biaxin and Malarone that my LLND just prescribed although she forgot to call in the prescription so I sent an email to remind her.  But I can't start all at once otherwise I won't know what is effecting what.  So I need to take it slow.  One step at a time.

Wish me luck!