Symptoms

I just wanted to update my current symptoms.  I have been taking the Green Dragon LB Core Protocol for 3 months now (minus 1.5 weeks where I ran out).  Initially, I felt worse on it, then much better, and then I got the flu, and now I just feel worse on it.  I am not stopping though. I think this is a journey that takes a LOT of perserverance!  So right now I am at Level 3 of Buhner Herbs 9 caps of the LB Core Protocol 3x a day.   I also am taking Nattokinase with it. 

Current Symptoms I am having:
Morning Anxiety/Fear (ugh!)
Diarrhea
Vibrations
Shooting Pains in Joints (a little)
Headaches (moderate)
Head Congestion
Numbness (a little)

All these symptoms are ones that I have had in the past that I haven't had in a long time until I began treating with the LB Core Protocol.  I think it is because it is working that I am having these symptoms.  Taking all the vitamins and supplements in the past is what has kept my head above water - and what continues to keep my symptoms from being absolutely horrible.

Encourage Me Again

And God spoke this song to my heart - It just came first thing as I woke up in the morning.  I haven't heard the song in years - and all that I remembered was 'Take my hand and walk" so I typed it in and listened.  Tears streamed down my face and still do when I listen to this song - God is so strongly speaking to me right now.  I am afraid of this Lyme Journey - especially when symptoms get worse before they get better.  I copied the lyrics and the link is if you would like to listen to the song.

Take My Hand Song by The Kry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwwnIr5yZ7E

Take My Hand Lyrics by The Kry:

I know there are times
your dreams turn to dust
you wonder as you cry
why it has to hurt so much
give Me all your sadness
someday you will know the reason why
wih a child-like heart
simply put your hope in Me


Chorus:
take My hand and walk where I lead
keep your eyes on Me alone
don't you say why were the old days' better
just because you're scared of the unknown
take My hand and walk


don't live in the past
cause yesterday's gone
wishing memories would last
you're afraid to carry on
you don't know what's comin'
but you know the one who holds tomorrow
I will be your guide
take you through the night
if you keep your eyes on Me


take My hand and walk where I lead
keep your eyes on me alone
don't you say why were the old days better
just because you're scared of the unknown
take My hand and walk where I lead
you will never be alone
faith is to be sure of what you hope for
and the evidence of things unseen
so take My hand and walk


just like a child
holding daddy's hand
don't let go of mine
you know you can't stand on your own

A Song for the Soul

I must have really, really needed encouragement.  I really, really did need encouragment.  This journey is a hard one because I only share the depths of what I go through with my husband and no one else.  My outlet is this journal.  Having Lyme Disease is a heavy burden and I am not one to pour out my burdens on others when they really don't have the capacity of understanding or caring because they have never been through something like what I have gone through.  Also, I have only lived here for 6 months, so I just don't have the depth of friendship with people here where I can share and I really don't want to weird people out.  Before I had Lyme, I had pre-conceived ideas about people with problems like I now find myself with and I just don't want to have to deal with the stress of others judgements of me on top of the stress of living with Lyme.  So yes, I am alone and I feel alone and so for me - when God reaches out to me - it is like a friend who reaches out to you and understands you and gets you and is pulling you through the darkness when you can't see the light.  All that to say is that in the midst of the depression and hopelessness I found myself in when I restarted the herbs - A song popped into my head.  It was The River by Garth Brooks and here are the Lyrics.

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
It has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance that tide And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll tke some falls
With the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Lord, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

I put the phrases in BOLD that spoke to my heart.  A tune will just come to my heart that I haven't heard in years, and I will hum it but I don't know the words to the song.  So I went to the internet and typed in "You know a dream is like a river" by Garth Brooks because I knew it was by him and I read the lyrics.  I just felt like God was speaking to my heart - saying it is going to be hard, but you have to go through it - you have to try - because if you never try to beat the Lyme Disease - then you will never reach the destination of being healed.  So keep trying, go through the hard times, because I am your Captain, and I am leading you in the right direction, even though everything feels worse.  Trust in ME!!!

This was powerful becaues this came to me in the midst of the depression.  God has spoken one other song to me - 5 years ago - when I would close my eyes and couldn't put the thoughts together in my head, when everything was going wrong in my body and I didn't know what was going on - It was "Got my mind set on you" by George Harrison.  In that song - the lyrics says that it is going to take patience, time and money to do it right and that if I set my mind, that I can do it.  Well little did I know how TRUE that has been and continues to be!!!

The Herx Continues....

I don't want to write. But I will.  I will write that every morning that I wake up I generally have a feeling of nervousness in my stomach.  It lasts throughout the day usually until about 1pm and then it fades away and the nights are good.  I don't know exactly what is causing it.  I have been taking Level 3 Buhner Herbs for several weeks now.  There was a period of 1.5 weeks where I didn't take any herbs, sprays or vitamins because I was down and out with the flu AND had run out of herbs because I had delayed ordering them thinking they were messing with my hormones.  By the time I realized it was just a herx and not my hormones going crazy, I ordered them, but still had to wait for them to get to me which set me back those 1.5 weeks.  That herx passed and I had a period of about 8 days where I felt much better. 

Anyways, I like to write how I got through something but I haven't exactly figured out 'how" to get through this.  I have found a couple things that have helped but nothing has eradicated the nervousness I feel in the AM and not the PM.  Taking Kavinace (GABA+ Taurine in a bio-available compliation) and Ashwaganda (which reduces cortisol which is highest in the morning; and diminishes tyrosine in the body).  These have definately helped.

What I hope?  I hope this is just an ongoing herx.  I haven't written since my last post entitled "Herx" but I have been continuing the Herx.  In fact, exactly 72 hours after I began the herbs - and herxed - I have continued to herx I think.  At least I think the nervousness may be part of an ongoing herx.  I hope.  I should add, that after the initial 72 hour herx - I felt deep, deep depression.  Utter hopelessness, cyring and feeling like I was never going to get better - that I would have this disease forever, that nothing was going to help.  I have to say I don't often feel like that - if ever.  Thankfully those depressing feelings passed but that was really, really hard.  I took a bath, and after the bath I felt much better and the depression died down but then it came back.  I took a coffee enema and it seemed to help - I think from that day forward the depression lifted so I think it was something to do with a bunch of neurotoxins in my gut.  During this time, at night, when I would try to read, my vision would blur and I would have a hard time distinguishing the black letters.  I would have to look away from the text for a minute or so and then I would look back at the text and be able to read a sentance or two.

Right now, my head is congested, I have a headache, I am getting a few arthritic type pains in my fingers, my feet are tender on the bottom (and have been for a few weeks since the herbs).  I have had the congestion for the past two weeks as well but not the headache as much - just a few on and off so I don't know if this is related to the Lyme or just a cold because my husband has the same headache as well.

So I journey on.  If I knew this was  very long but passing herx then I would be a little more encouraged.  But until I know that...I still wonder...is it a herx?

Herx

So I ran out of Lyme herbs right before I got the flu so I went one and a half weeks without herbs while having and recovering from the flu.  I am totally frustrated that treatment stopped for one and a half weeks because it is another setback.  Well, I had to reset my neurotranmsitters after a week of the flu as my tyrosine was way down but was alleviated by taking more of it.  I got that all sorted out and was feeling better so 3 days ago (72 hours to be exact) I re-started the herbs as my order came in.  So right now it is 72 hours later and I have breathless nervous feelings.  Yesterday I took a two hour nap in the middle of the day and last night I stayed up until 1am and my feet were really sore.  I am hoping this is a herx because when I started the herbs a couple of months ago, I had a day of nervous anxiety at the 72 hour point that went away after one day.  I sure hope that today offers the same experience.

The Flu, Anxiety and More Tyrosine

So the whole week that I had the flu, I didn't take vitamins or sprays or herbs. I should have and I am so frustrated at myself for not but I just layed down all day long for a week. I was so sick and the kids were all so sick. I am ashamed to write that I didn't take the herbs, but truth be told, I had run out of them and was waiting for them to come in the mail. I delayed ordering the herbs because I thought I was having a reaction to andrographis but after taking them a 2nd month, I realized that my presumed reaction was most likely Lyme die-off. So now I just got the herbs and am re-started them. At the end of the week of the flu where I didn't take my herbs, sprays and vitamins, I got a near panic attack and felt the anxiety coming on. I got these feelings 2 months ago and it was real bad so I thought because I was really anxious I should take more 5htp and so I did - but things seemed to get much worse. I finally figured out to take the tyrosine and not the 5htp and when I did I began to feel better. It took a few days but the anxiety went way down. Usually I have just taken a balanced amount of both (for the past 2 years) and it has been sufficient but since treating the Lyme disease there seems to be a increased need for the tyrosine. I guess this makes sense if the bacteria that are acting on the phenylaline-tyrosine pathway are getting hit with the treatments and so my levels are lowering as the bacteria are fighting back. I wrote about this in another post but I have high bacterial organic acid markers on this pathway. Anyways, bottom line, I took a lot of tyrosine and not so much 5-HTP and it helped to alleviate the fearful panic and hopeless feelings of "will I ever get better?" and "what if I treat and still have these problems forever?". I should add I have had vibrations throughout my body off and on this weeks as well as tingling in my neck.