So, SO True!!!

I was just reading the notes from a talk Dr. Burrascano gave in March of this year. Here is the link to the site where the I read the notes from:

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/2734248/putting-lyme-behind-you-santarosa-3-2011-doc-april-8-2011-9-44-pm-69k

Here an excerpt taken from the notes which is so, SO True!!!!!!

•NT-Factor, antioxidants, high-absorption minerals, and Co Q-10 together can make a huge difference in energy and stamina (per Drs Nicolson and Burrascano)

Speaking from my own experience these supplements take away fatigue. I tried Co-Q10 by itself with not much improvement 3 years ago but about a year and a half ago I added in ACES+Zinc by Carlson labs and NuMedica's Mineralplex and that very month I no longer got tired in the afternoon. Seriously, try this if you are tired all the time. I am pretty sure it will work for you. I had to hire a part-time nanny to care for my children because I was so exhausted all the time. When she came, I would sleep. I didn't know I had lyme but I knew something was terribly wrong with my body.

Anyway, I felt so excited when I read this from the leading lyme doctor in our country. I am looking forward to his updated Lyme Treatment Protocols as the last one was published in 2008. In it he spoke of NT-Factor for energy but hadn't yet talked about the antioxidants and absorbable minerals. I haven't yet tried NT-Factor although I am quite interested. I am moving to Australia right now so I am not sure about getting that supplement over there. Right now I am doing well with the other supplements but it wouldn't hurt to add in the NT-factor when I can.

I decided to take the ACES+Zinc supplement because my Metemetrix Individual Optamized Nutrition test showed that I had very low vitamin A, carotene and I had high lipid peroxides which indicates that your body has low selenium. ACES+Zinc stands for vitamins (A), (C), and (E);(S)elenium, and Zinc. I also had low minerals across the board in every mineral catagory. So I added both these supplements because of the testing. My testing confirms what Dr. Burrascano has found as well - that Lyme patients are low in both minerals and antioxidants.

A Poem for the Soul

This is a poem I found that encourages my soul. I am still on my journey to complete recovery but I have found treasures of knowledge in eradicating symptoms along the way through my years of suffering. Even though I am still on my journey, this poem reminds me that there are those who are just beginning the suffering and don't know what is going on or what to do. This reminds me to "call back" even when I too am still on the way.

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back -

'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track:

And if perchance, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low.

Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;

Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;

That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill.

He bore you up and held you where the air was still.

Oh, friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your face;

They say it glows with triumph, and you feet bound in the race:

But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim.

And I cannot see the glory, though I long for a word of Him.

But if you'll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,

And if you'll say He saw you through the night's sin-darkened sky -

If you have gone a little way ahead, oh, friend, call back -

'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track

Selected.

Pain in the Neck!

I think that phrase must have come from people who have lyme. Hah! Well, I know that is not true but guess what - today my neck hurts and my feet hurt. So much so that I clean for about 5 minutes and lay down for ten. My kids are having their friends over today after school but because I haven't been feeling so hot I haven't been after then to clean up after themselves nor have I been cleaning up much myself which means I am doing all the cleaning up by myself today. With four kids in a three bedroom townhouse it gets messy really fast - especially when mom doesn't even have the energy to get after them to do so. Anyways - I just took a triple dose of smilax. I felt like before when I took it, it really alleviated my neck pain. We shall see. Right now as I am writing I am resting my neck on a bag of ice while laying back in an armchair. Thats how I take my 10 minute breaks between cleaning. Whine. Whine. Whine. I know. I would like to be totally positive on this blog but right now it's a bit tough. I guess it is better to whine on a blog than whine all day long to all those around you (which unfortunately I did this morning). I am looking forward to seeing what my neurotransmitters in light of all my antibiotics and all the stress from the move. It will be great to see what amino acids I need to take more of in order to keep my mood and body feeling good. Anyways, until next time...

My Back Hurts!!!

So I am not much of a back pain person. Fortunately. I know when people have back pain it can be really torturous. Well my back is really sore today. I had a flat tire on the way to the DMV today and my 4 year old daughter was in the car with me. She was talking and talking and I just wished she would be quiet. She is so lovely but I just needed quietness and peace. I think I may be coming down with something because when I start feeling ill, I often get back pain, sore hips, etc which I have now. I think the Lyme does it as well. Anyways, darn it, I want to feel 100% especially when I am getting ready to move and it frustrates me to not feel so. If you have been reading my blog, and it seems like I am not as great as I proclaimed myself to be from all the vitamins I took, well you are 50% right because I am not...now. I was then! But, after beginning the Lyme treatments I have been struggling a big more although I think anxiety is getting better. It seemed to be getting worse there for a while but maybe I really did have Bartonella and this Rifampin, Doxycyline combination is effective against it. We shall see. I am pretty sure I will get anxiety pretty bad once I start the Tinidazole though. I got it pretty intensely within a few hours of taking it so I am thinking that will happen again. So what I am thinking is I have Bartonella related anxiety and then Lyme related anxiety and they are two separate entities. But at this point, I am not too sure but that is my best guess.

Ha-Ha!

Well, I went into my doctor today after 3 months of being away. You know the one who tests my 5htp levels and tells me how much I need to take all for just $10 a pop rather than the $300 it would normally cost. Well, the last time I went in he didn't want me anymore because I was using herbs to treat lyme. So this time, I prayed he would forget about it and as usual...he did. So we tested today for my neurotransmitter levels and I told him I am taking antibiotics and he agreed that they could change my neurotransmitter levels. Not one word about not treating me because of the herbs. To be true, he didn't say he didn't want to treat me, he just said to not come in as often. Well, I didn't come in and now he wants to see me in 2 weeks. Yay! Sometimes it pays to have a doctor who forgets who you are every time he sees you because he sees a billion patients a day!

Nauseous Again

Don't know what is causing it but I have been nauseous all evening. I really don't have much to say about it other than it begins in the afternoon and goes into the evening and I haven't had it for the past 4 days but now it is back. Don't like it. I know for one thing I haven't been eating as well but I wouldn't think that would cause this. I haven't had my liver herbs up with my bedtime herbs so maybe that is it. I have no idea. But like I said. I don't like it. It makes me feel like laying on the couch, which I am doing.

Symptom Update

Nausea - It is gone. I had it for little over a week and now it is gone so it appears to have been a herxeimer reaction.

Tingling - I still have it. This is a symptom I haven't had in over a year and it is back now that I have been doing Lyme treatment for 2 months.

Anxiety - It comes and goes but seems to be getting better. I will have it occasionally when I wake up in the morning for a few minutes or before I need to got the bathroom as odd as that is.

Skin - The dry skin that I have had on my face for 2 years has softened which is great! Growing up, I had always had soft skin, and after I got Lyme Disease, my skin on my feet began to be really dry and cracked and I started needing pedicures every month where they would peel off loads of dead skin (gross I know). I had never needed them before.

Hair - For about 2 years now, I haven't had to wash my hair everyday because it stopped being oily like it always had been. I know this is painting a gross picture. To be clear, I wasn't walking around with oily hair every day. It would just get a little greasy at night so I would need to wash it daily. Well for the past 2 years, it was totally dry and I wouldn't have to wash my hair for 3 days or so. Since treating the Lyme for the past 2 months it has gone back to being greasy after a night's sleep which I take as a good sign because whatever is going on, it is returning me to the state my hair was in the pre-Lyme days. Now if only it would go back to being straight. So beautifully sraight I wouldn't even have to straighten it. Thick, long, straight beautiful hair. Now I have curly, have to straighten with a straightener to look decent kind-of-hair. That would be a DREAM if it returned to my former state. Keeping my fingers crossed but not counting on it!

Bladder Pain - This came after adding in the Rifampin and going on the Fluconzole with Nystatin. Went off the Nystatin, and felt better but not perfect. Added in a Solaray Kidney Herbal Blend (2 capsules per night) and have been taking that for about 2 weeks. I didn't even notice but I haven't had any bladder pain for about a week now. Must be helping. Hip-hip-hooray!

Weight loss - not so much. I go in and out of being on a good Lyme Diet. I am pretty much off of it as I am packing for Australia and I am a single-focus type of person. Until I feel like I have a handle on the move, it is hard for me to eat super healthy like I was when I wasn't thinking and working on the move.

Feet - Darn things still hurt. Not so much that I can't walk but are just tender. Still wear my Crocs flip-flops everywhere as they are cushiony and comfortable.

Favorite Blogs

Sometimes I forget what it is like to be well. Not really but sort of. I have a few blogs I am fond of reading. They are blogs of women who are devoted to their families and have energy to go and do and make it all happen. These days are not those for me. I am certainly accomplishing much more than when I was in the thick of it all not knowing what had hit me but I am certainly not at the pace I was. I love to see all the decorating, creating, organizing, cooking, family outings that these ladies do. When I read their blog I feel like I live vicariously through them. Of course not really. But the very reason I read their blogs is because they are living a part of me that I cannot live right now to the fullest and so it makes me feel a little more complete just reading about them doing the things that I would be doing if I was 100%. And it also fills me with longing. Longing to just live life with energy filling my body down to my toes. With those creative juices that I knew so well, and felt admired for, running through my fingertips again. For the patience to prepare a meal for hours so that it would ooze deliciousness and be gobbled up in one setting. But for right now I enjoy reading about it. Until the bend in the road and it is my turn again.

Nausea for 6 days

Well, it's not been fun having nausea for the past 6 days. It began with the first day of my monthly cycle and has continued on even though my period has stopped. I did have watery diarrhea the first two days which has stopped but the nausea has continued on although not as bad as it was. It is a bit worrisome to me. I am not sure if this is a herxeimer reaction or if I am getting a c. difficile infection that needs to be ameliorated. The problem is that the medication which I believe treats it (Tinidazole), is the one I am delaying starting until after we move to Australia because the side effects are too strong for me to handle while trying to pack the whole house, take care of all the administrative details, care for 4 children under the age of 9 while being married to a man who is busy with work. Anyways, I put an e-mail into my LLND to schedule an appointment so that I can get some lab work done and check my liver and kidney functions as well as test for c. diff just in case there is something giving me nausea. If I have c. diff I will need to go on that medication sooner than later and I don't know where that leaves me with the house. I may need to fly someone out and have them start packing for me because I am not sure I can do it while I am on that medication. No matter what, we will get through this and we will move. I don't think it is c.diff. It could just be that I haven't been taking my liver herbs (I ran out about 2 weeks ago) and maybe that is what is giving me nausea? I have no idea. I just know it is a new symptom. So that is all for now. I have also been pretty tired too and so it is hard to push through that. I want to work really hard but I have a hard time pushing myself to do so right now.

A Psalm for the Soul

I love the Lord

For he heard my voice

Because he turned his ear to me

I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me

the anguish of the grave came over me

I was overcome by distress and sorrow

Then I called on the name of the Lord

"Lord, save me!"

The LORD is gracious and righteous

our God is full of compassion

The LORD protects the unwary

when I was brought low, he saved me.

Return to your rest, my soul

for the LORD has been good to you.

For you LORD have delivered me from death,

my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

When I was going through it, and I mean THROUGH IT, this was the Psalm that my mom gave me. This was the Psalm that resonated through my soul. The words "Return to your rest, O my soul" seemed an impossibility. I felt like my brain was at the point of no return. I never thought I would get better but I held on to the sinews of hope. Like when your muscles and tendons are being ripped apart while your one had is holding on to the edge of a cliff and you are ready to fall off and you feel your muscles ripping apart. It was hope that kept me holding on. It was that bad. The anxiety, fear and panic had so filled my body and mind that I felt unrecognizable to the person I had been before and had always known. Not just anxiety in worry about the future and worry about life and excessive worry. Anxiety that causes your soul to shudder and shake every moment of the day. Where you can't think straight. I never thought I could get out of that place. I didn't know that a brain suffering so much could ever think straight again. When it says that the cords of death encompassed me, I was there. A dead woman walking. I still have Lyme. I am just beginning to treat it. But I am not there. I have been delivered from that horrible, horrible nightmare of a place and I am so grateful. I know there is so much more for me. But I am so grateful for how far I have come.

I love how it says the LORD protects the unwary. Un-aware. Un-aware that I had Lyme I began all these nutritional treatments that began restoring my body. Proverbs 3 tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge him (pray to him, ask him for direction, and to guide our steps) and he WILL make our paths straight. I feel like my path has been made straight even in the midst of me being unaware and I am so grateful for that. Even though it has taken time, I am on a good path. A few years back I was angry at God, felt abandoned and felt betrayed. I had given my heart to him and this is what I had got in return? I thought this because in the back of my head I believed that if I gave my heart to him I would live a perfect life. The Bible clearly tells us that we will endure hardship and suffering because we live in this fallen world...a world with Lyme Disease and cancer and war and pain. I couldn't see His hand guiding my steps, making them straight. Now I do. We moved to a state where I found a doctor who got me off all anti-anxiety medication and onto 5-htp and tyrosine sprays using scientific testing. He does clinical studies for the lab so I only pay $10 every two weeks for $650 worth of testing that my insurance would never reimburse. My insurance, up until now, has always paid my naturopathic bills even though I just found out that they don't cover naturopaths and so now I will have to pay for my upcoming appointments. Fortunately, my husband just received a substantial raise, so as frustrating as it was to learn the visits were uncovered, we are still provided for. Australia could be good because alot of medicines are subsidized by the government. We shall see. I am just trusting that my steps are being led amidst the mine-field of life and the things that I don't see with my own eyes.

Tinidazole - Not Yet!

Well, I added in Tinidazole yesterday and I definately felt anxious and I think it was from the medicine because I had been feeling great and today I didn't take it and I am feeling great again. I am sure that means it is doing it's job and killing the spirochetes that are wreaking havoc on my system but right now I just can't take the side effects. If I wasn't moving, then I would say, "Bring it on" but because I am moving, the stress of that panic feeling has the effect of totally making me useless and unfocused on all the packing and administrative stuff that I need to take care of because we are moving to Australia on December 8th which is 3 weeks sooner than I was planning. I definitely had a near panic moment (after taking the Tinidazole yesterday I will add) as I stared at my house and couldn't even think of where to begin and what to pack. My mind was swimming in the details of...opening an Australian bank account, securing a car loan in Australia, whether I could bring our dvd's and if they are compatible with Australia's players, getting my driver's license renewed so I can apply for an international license, selling my van, cleaning my van to sell, passing the driver's test because I was sick on my birthday week when I was planning to renew it so now I have to take the driving test all over again but the back light is out on my van, cleaning up all the kids messes that they made while I was packing, selling things on craiglist, figuring out when our visas will arrive, looking for a house in Australia, looking for a place to stay there while we are looking for a house and there is so much more but that is off the top of my head. Today? Today I feel so much better. Packed up our second bathroom (except for the absolute essentials), packed up my daughters bedroom and storage closet and went through my medical records so I can make copies of them to include in my luggage in case I get detained at customs. No Tinidazole for me yet. Will have to pass that along to my LLND that I won't be able to start it for a while. Maybe one or two months. Delays are NO fun but I have to be on my game for this move. I can't manage it all and have anxiety. Bummed because I want to move forward quickly but sometimes slow and steady will win the race. So that leaves me primarily still treating a possible bartonella infection which I will be treating for about 5 months and then I will move onto hitting the babesia and lyme with medication once I am settled in Australia. All is well.